


Never Leave

by Negovanstein



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Girls Kissing, Lesbian Character, POV Lesbian Character, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21566092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Negovanstein/pseuds/Negovanstein
Summary: "Please don't leave me. Not after all of this.""I don't...I don't want to.."
Relationships: Carmilla & Laura (Carmilla), Carmilla/Laura (Carmilla), Laura Hollis & Carmilla Karnstein, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 13
Kudos: 44





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please visit our merch store!  
> http://tee.pub/lic/KkQfNWGSbfU

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. They'd won. Mother was gone. Lophii was dead. The Gates of Hell were closed. She was human again after over 300 years of blood, pain, and murder. There was supposed to be a happy ending. She'd become a better person throughout all of this. She'd saved her lover. She should be happy. Like the movies and the novels. But this wasn't a movie. It wasn't a novel. There was no way to see it as such. This wasn't fair. It wasn't fine. And she wasn't happy. Fictions and fairy tales weren't how Carmilla saw the world. She could only think of one person who did. It wasn't fair.  
"You were supposed to stay safe. You were supposed to go back to your nice little life, Laura."  
"Yeah...yeah...but then I wouldn't have been me."  
"Please don't leave me. Not after all of this. Please. Please!"  
"I don't...I don't want to...there's still so much I... I wanna d-do...Like...Like...I..."  
......  
"I was supposed to keep you safe." Carmilla whispered to the one person she wished could hear her.  
"Carmilla, honey," She heard a soft voice calling her, accompanied by a supportive hand on her shoulder, "I've got you sweetheart."  
For a moment, she'd forgotten where she was. She'd forgotten what she was supposed to be doing. Her eyes slowly lifted from the mahogany wood under shaking fingers to Sherman Hollis's own unstable hand on her shoulder to the crowd of faces looking at her in pity and sadness.  
"I was supposed to keep her safe. I just hope wherever she is, she knows that she meant-. That she means more to me than anyone ever has." Unable to think of anything more to say, she edged away from the podium, making her way back to her seat in the front row.  
She froze, breath stuck in her throat as she approached the final step. There she was. Dressed in white, flowers in her hair. She looked angelic. For all Carmilla knew, she could've been sleeping. Her fingers shakily traced themselves across her cheek before gripping her hand. For a second, she almost felt warm. But, the chill in her fingers erased any idea of life. The sunshine she once only needed a smile wasn't there anymore.  
"Oh, Laura." Carmilla choked back a sob. Yellow was no longer a happy color.   
Sherman wrapped an arm around her waist, guiding her back to the front row with sorrow in his eyes. Together they fought back tears as the minister began.  
They decided to have her funeral in a church; the same church Laura's mother's funeral was held in. It's what Laura wanted. Sherman and Laura had both agreed that this was what they both wanted when their time came. Sherman had only wished it would've been him to leave this place first. Burying Laura was like saying goodbye to his wife all over again. He had no idea this could feel ten times worse.  
..........  
The sun wasn't shining as brightly as Carmilla wished it was. It surely matched the mood. She sighed, breathing deeply. Standing next to a giant pile of dirt with knowledge of who was going under it was not something easily prepared for. She wasn't ready. No matter. It was happening and she could do nothing. Again.  
All of Laura's friends were there. Lafontaine. Perry. Kirsch. Even Danny had come when she'd heard the news. The Summer Society was there. Kirsch's frat brothers came. Betty flew in. Carmilla was sure she could feel Mattie's presence as well. No matter how many people were standing beside her, she felt completely alone. The person that made her feel a part of something was minutes from leaving her. She gave Carmilla hope. She gave her a chance. And Carmilla handed her into the hands of death a second time. It didn't matter how close she'd gotten to any of the people here who were mourning her death. It didn't matter how much they wanted her to call if she needed anything. It didn't matter how many people were keeping her in their thoughts. Laura was gone. It didn't matter.  
The coffin began to slowly descend into the ground. Everyone began to retreat solemnly, heading to cars and funeral home limos that had given rides to family and those who were close enough to be. Even Sherman walked away, not wanting to see it happen. Carmilla was the only one to stay behind, watching the box sink lower and lower. Watching Laura sink. As afraid as she was to experience the confines of a coffin again, she would've happily taken Laura's place. Laura was leaving her. Soon she would be gone forever. Trapped under a pile of dirt meant to form and fill six feet of space.  
Something about this realization pierced her heart. Her legs buckled. Her body convulsed. The dam holding back her everything began to sprang leaks as heavy sobs pushed at her heaving chest. Letting out a cry of despair, she took several faulty steps before launching herself towards the nearly invisible coffin.  
Lafontaine and Perry weren't far enough that they'd missed this. They were talking to a solemn Sherman Hollis when they turned in time to see Carmilla break. Lafontaine ran to catch Carmilla before she buried herself with Laura's body. Laf and Danny both made it in time to catch her before she could take another leap. Lafontaine brought themselves down to their knees to restrain Carmilla, ending up sitting on the ground with a completely shattered Carmilla in their arms sobbing uncontrollably as the top of the coffin disappeared underground.  
"No! Laura, please! Don't leave me here! Don't leave me!" Carmilla scrambled for the coffin again, now restricted by two sets of arms. Danny kneeled beside them, arms wrapped around them both as a comfort and restriction.  
They held Carmilla's shaking body as the dirt was placed on top of the coffin. Each crash of dirt made her shakes more violent. The higher the pile grew, the more pain she felt. As the final shovels finished covering the six-foot gash in the ground where her girl was buried, Carmilla was able to contain her heavy sobbing. Now only silent tears and a shaky frame revealed her agony. Reaching a hand out towards the grave, she sobbed once more as she read the gravestone of Laura Hollis. She read the dates and she read the engraving.  
Laura Hollis. The Greatest Gift the Earth Ever Gave  
"Please....don't leave me," She whispered into the air. When nothing returned to her, she shrunk back into Lafontaine's arms. She was too weak, too vulnerable, to pretend she wasn't, "Laura..."  
...........  
"What the..."  
Waking up, it was extremely dark, dark enough that she couldn't even see her hands in front of her face. For a moment she thought she'd been left in the pit alone to die. But, as she tried to get up, two things became clear. 1) She was on something soft and cushy. 2) She couldn't move. There was no room. Nothing but wood in every direction. Her eyes widened in the darkness as she realized where she was. But why? Banging on the top of the wooden barrier, she called out for help; help she knew would never come.  
Sitting there, waiting for the air to run out, she thought about her life. Her father who was probably sick out of his mind with grief. Her friends. Perry was probably up to her elbows in Pin Sol. Or brownie mix. Or both if she was as upset as thought she'd be. Laf was probably still working on their laser eye as a distraction from the fact that Laura was gone. Danny wouldn't know. She probably wouldn't care after everything. And Carmilla...she'd seen what Carmilla could become if something had happened to Laura. Broken. Hollow. A shell. She hoped that this hadn't happened in this world; that Carmilla was able to be strong and live her life without her.  
Pain already filling her chest from lack of oxygen and whatever else, she let her sobs consume her as any hope of seeing Carmilla's face again washed away with her tears. As soon as she prepared herself for death, something happened. She heard what sounded like shoveling. She felt herself being shaken violently, like she was being lifted. Suddenly, the lid of the coffin came flying off. She had to cover her eyes to prevent wood splinters and stray dirt from flying into them.   
"My God. The dead has arisen," A familiar voice spoke from the outside. It was filled with humor. She couldn't believe it, "Welcome back."


	2. 1

Carmilla was covered in sweat, tape wrapped around her knuckles as she sparred with her sparring partner, Kenzie. Free sparring was Carmilla's way of maintaining her shape, strengthening her muscle, and increasing her heart rate. It was also her way of dealing with-.  
"Hold on! Let's take a break before you rip my head off!" Kenzie ducked past a kick to her chin, throwing her hands up defensively.   
Carmilla chuckled, sitting on the mat and taking a swig from her water bottle. She rolled her eyes at the redhead, stretching lazily before standing again. She had been joining with Kenzie for sparring for nearly 18 months. They had become good friends. Kenzie was a big help in her recovery process. She got along with Lafontaine and Perry; and she was one badass of a sparring teacher. Her girlfriend would come most days to join, enjoying the idea of putting Kenzie on her back. Today, she just watched.  
"What's the matter babe? Scared of bleeding?" She was probably snapchatting the entire class on her phone.   
"Please! Do you know how many times I've bled because of this woman? I swear Carmilla's feet come with a backstory cause she gives me the backlash!" Kenzie popped her neck, falling on her back against the cool floor.  
"What can I say? I learned from the best," Carmilla grabbed her bag from the corner, "Hey, Alex, can I go yet, or do you want me to kick your girl's ass some more?"  
Alex cackled, her head just barely smacking against the wall behind her, "I would actually like to take my girl home in one piece thank you. Go on."  
"Sure. Wouldn't want you hiding your tears in this corner." Carmilla quipped as she headed for the door.  
"Yeah. Very funny. Behind these Hazel Eyes. How original. Get out." Alex pulled Kenzie into her lap. Her eyes twinkling as she pressed kisses to Kenzie's face, her black hair nearly swallowing them both.  
"Oh, yeah. Do you need us tonight or..." Kenzie cocked an eyebrow at Carmilla's retreating frame, moving her girlfriend's hair from her face before red and black tangled together.  
"Nah. I'll be fine." Carmilla grinned, turning back. It didn't quite touch her eyes. Kenzie was used to that. Everyone was.  
"Okay. You call me if you change your mind. We'll be there faster than you can adjust those leather pants of yours." She gave Carmilla a playful warning glance.  
"Those are pretty hot." Alex noted.  
Carmilla rolled her eyes again as she left the building, plugging in her headphones as she walked back to her apartment. The guitar and drums filled her ears as she walked the next two blocks back. Her apartment wasn't the most extravagant place in the world, but that's what Carmilla liked about it. It was big and filled with more space as an art studio. Although free sparring was fun for her, and she often got paid to spar against others, she paid the bills through anonymous art requests online. The customers didn't know her, and she didn't know the customers. That's the way it was when she stared and that's the way it still was. It was the way she wanted it.  
This new request was probably her favorite she's ever done. She got a direct message on Twitter from SweetestCompanion for a sunset as the sky turned dark to reveal the stars. How could Carmilla that down?   
But what the fuck kind of username is that?  
No matter. Carmilla had finished the painting the night before. All that was left was the packaging. K_Art was popular for great work and punctuality; something completely opposite of her personality. But it paid the bills well. What was annoying her was that this customer wanted to meet in person, which went against the point of anonymity. But it got her paid; so, why not? 'Tomorrow evening' they'd said. At least they had the decency to meet at a decent hour.  
Passing through her living room, Carmilla heads to the bathroom to shower away the three hours of free sparring. Looking in the mirror, she smirked at her frame as her shirt went over her head. Sparring gave her abs that she couldn't have imagined. Shrugging indifferently after several seconds, she planted her body in front of the steaming stream of water. After a thorough wash, shampoo, and condition, she wrapped a towel around herself and stepped into the bedroom. A moisturizer on her skin, she threw on a pair of shorts and a tank before trudging to the living room to sit in front of her easel to finish a few sketches.  
It took her nearly 4 hours and 2 cups of coffee to finish sketching the two drawings. One was for a child's birthday and 1 for an anniversary gift. Shaking herself, Carmilla stood, stretched, and drug herself to her room to take a nap before she prepared for what she was sure would be an annual thing for years to come. Curling into herself, she let herself into a dreamless slumber.  
............  
R.I.P TO MY YOUTH! YOU CAN CALL THIS THE FUNERAL!  
"UGH!"  
I'M JUST TELLING THE TRUTH! YOU CAN PLAY THIS AT MY FUNERAL! WRAP ME UP, PLACE A NAIL INSIDE MY COFFIN! MIGHT GO TO HELL, YEAH THERE AIN'T NO STOPPING!  
Rolling over and swiping her phone from the bedside table, Carmilla put the phone to her ear. Obviously annoyed, she growled before speaking up.  
"Laf, there better be a good reason you're calling me so early in the-"  
"Calm down, Karnstein! It's after 7!" They interrupted her before a threat could push its way through.  
Surprised, Carmilla put the phone in front of her face, regretting it as soon as the bright light hit her eyes. A curse slipped through her lips as her eyes adjusted to read the time. 7: 15 p.m. Lafontaine laughed quietly on the other end of the phone.  
"Shut it, Sci-Fi. What do you want?" She snapped, running a hand through her hair. It nearly shocked her when her fingers hit air towards the ends until she remembered that she'd cut it.  
"Oh-. I was just um-."  
A brief scuffle on the other end that made Carmilla lift an eyebrow, and Lafontaine's voice wasn't on the phone anymore.  
"We wanted to check to see if you were okay. To see if you needed us." Perry's high-pitched tone erupted louder in her ear than Carmilla had expected.  
"Whoa! Hello, Betty Crocker. I have to hear with these, you know." She grumbled.  
"Nice announcement, Perr." Lafontaine spoke up, not too far away from their cell phone.  
"Shush, Lafontaine! You know what happened last year! We do not need a repeat."  
"She's a grown woman! She knows better now!"  
"Guys..." Carmilla huffed, annoyance rising.  
"She knew better the last time!"  
"How would you know? The girl could barely pull herself into her own leather pants!"  
"Guys?" Carmilla frowned, offended.  
"Well that's exactly my point!"  
"You have no point! It's different now! You don't control her!"  
"She needs to be watched Lafontaine!"  
"I DON'T NEED A DAMN BABYSITTER," Carmilla boomed, silencing both her redheaded friends immediately. They had become that now, after everything. Even if they did get on her nerves, "You two gingers can watch each other for all I care! I'm going out tonight and I better not see either of you two redheads or I swear I will rip out your spleens! I can still do it! No phone calls for the rest of the night! Got that?"  
She didn't wait for a response. Hanging up, she threw off her blanket and stormed to her closet to get dressed. If she was being honest, Perry did have a point. Last year was absolutely horrible. But, Laf was right too. Carmilla knew better. She was careful. But she needed to practice control.  
Let's hope year two goes better than the first. No screwing up.

A/N: How are you guys enjoying it so far?


	3. 2

Or a lot of screwing up.  
Carmilla downed her sixth shot, sliding the glass back across the counter to replace with another. She cheered with the crowd around her, lifting the shot in the air before tossing her head back. The burn in her throat felt like something. She needed to feel something tonight of all nights. She didn't want to think about death or blood, of gods or mothers, of pits or caskets. She just wanted to feel. She never knew how it felt to put her fingers against something and feel nothing until the last thing she felt was abnormally cold instead of the warmth she was used to.  
She'd visited Laura's grave before she came to the bar, putting a fresh bouquet of flowers on the grass. There were more flowers there with a few stuffed animals and a white candle. She gave a small smile, glad to know that others had come again this year. It looked like more than the last year. Frowning, she shook the thought way, not wanting to remember how she knew that. Placing her lips to the newly cleaned gravestone- courtesy of Sherman and Perry she was sure- she left the cemetery to drown her sorrows in tequila. A lot of tequila.  
"WHOOOO!" She threw another shot down her throat, clapping as the girl drunkenly singing karaoke finished her song. What she was singing, Carmilla was sure even she didn't know. Her feet gave as she stepped off the stage. Her friend, clearly the designated driver, caught her and drug her off towards the bathroom. Maybe Carmilla should've had a designated driver. Oops.  
"Who's next?" The DJ called from his booth, a beat playing as he searched the faces from his angle.  
"WHOO!" Carmilla cheered again, throwing a hand up in the air.  
"Yo, we got a new one! Give her room! Let her up here!" He motioned for the crowd to separate.  
Carmilla hadn't tried to be next. She had no intention of going up there. She just wanted to get drunk and lose herself in the music.  
So, screwing up.  
A hand pushed her gently closer into the large group of people cheering for her. Drunk slurs of motivation and support came from unfamiliar faces in every direction.  
Eh...why not?  
Stepping onto the stage, she stood in front of the microphone and told the DJ to give her number 0631. It meant something. It had substance. It was the reason she was here. As the music began, the noises of the bar began to quiet down. It was only when she opened her mouth that everything came to a standstill.  
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing   
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
While you're far away and dreaming  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure  
Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep cause I'd miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you baby  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing...  
As soon as she sang the words, tears pricked at her eyes as she knew exactly who she was singing to. Singing for. Needing it to be known that she was loved, and she was missed. She hoped that Laura could hear her, wherever she was. There were glasses, flasks, hands, phones, and lighters waving in the air as Carmilla sang her own rendition of the ever-popular song. Once it was over, there was a boom of clapping hands and drunk shouting at the performance.  
Wiping at her tears, Carmilla made her way off the stage, "I need a drink."  
********  
"How long do I have to stay this time?" She groaned, starting the process to getting her out of the house tonight.  
"Until I say you may leave. Don't tempt me. I can still hurt you, Hollis." Mattie huffed, not looking away from her phone.  
"Well that'd be counterproductive seeing as you saved me," Laura crossed her arms, sitting in the corner of the couch grumpily before sinking down with pleading eyes, "Come on, Mattie! I've been stuck in this house for days! Besides, there's a pride parade going on soon. Who'd want to miss that?"   
"Those who are supposed to be dead," Mattie shot back, briefly peering up towards the front wall in thought, "Although, that would give me a chance to tease the masses."  
"Wow, being human has not changed you," Laura snorted, wondering if the younger sister of her savior had changed at all. Shaking the thought, she whined again, "Mattie! You said it yourself, nobody that knows me is still here. What could it hurt? You let me go out before."  
Laura had been devastated to learn that everyone had left Silas. Laf and Perry. Kirsch and Danny. Her dad. Carmilla. Even Mel. Mattie reassured her that it was purely coincidental. New jobs. New schools. The inability to deal with her death. The inability to stay in this town another second. She understood. Didn't mean it didn't hurt.   
"Laura," Mattie sighed, "It's dangerous. Not tonight."  
"Why? Why not tonight," Laura stood, pacing. Mattie had kept her on a tight leash for the past two years since she pulled her from the ground. She usually was able to roam certain parts of the city with Mattie if she was hidden. But this was the second time, for the second year, that Mattie refused to let her out, "What's so special about today?"  
Mattie sighed, not wanting to get into it with Laura. Being human and having feelings truly made her sick. She knew the pain Laura was feeling, but she was doing what was best for her. But it wouldn't be that hard to watch out for her if she was actually there. Plus, she had been cooped up in the house as well, keeping Laura in. Sighing, she caved.  
"Okay, fine. Get dressed. We leave in an hour. Don't keep me waiting darling." She turned for her room to find a suitable outfit for tonight's events.  
"Sweet!" Laura cheered.  
Mission 1 complete.


	4. 3

*Minor to Medium Warning*  
Umpteen shots of tequila later, Carmilla comes stumbling out of the bar. Laughing at absolutely nothing, she approached her motorcycle. She was able to drink excessively for so many years before she got her life back, she was surprised she still could. It wasn't as much as she was used to, but still pretty fucking impressive. Her stomach began to twist as she reached for her helmet. Not up for throwing up on her bike, and not drunk enough to attempt to drive, she pushed at the handlebars and started walking towards her apartment.   
She didn't make it past the corner of the building before she was knocking the kickstand back to the ground and sprinting into the alley beside the bar. Waiting for the contents of her stomach to appear on the ground, Carmilla thought back to the reason she was even here. She saw no better time than any to suffer.  
Laura was gone. Two years ago today she lost the love of her life. She held her in her arms as she took her last breath. Laura Hollis died to give her a life that she did not deserve. She had lived her life and then some, taking it from others that didn't see it coming or wished they didn't see it at all. Death, a name that once belonged to her.   
"Well, don't you think death can be beautiful?"   
She chuckled at the memory, remembering Laura's reaction. Remembering how fucked up they were. Remembering what they were doing. Remembering that Laura was alive.  
"You're lucky you were cute cause you fucking cheated." She chuckled again.  
Suddenly, she hunched over as the alcohol left her body. The burn in her throat was nothing on the fire in her heart. Laura was gone when she was supposed to live.  
Life cheated.  
**********  
"Mattie! Stop stealing pride flags from people! If you want one, they're free!" Laura apologized to the couple they'd just passed after Mattie snatched the handheld mini flag from their grasps.  
"There's no fun in free." Mattie cackled, tickling a gay guy that was dancing on a speaker. He nearly fell trying to keep his balance.  
"Nobody's ever said that." Laura scoffed, adjusting the hood on her head. Mattie's precaution. Hidden but not mysterious. Laura saw it differently. Stupid.  
"Excuse me, darling. There's a group of hipsters with my name on them. I may not make it home in one piece," Mattie danced in the direction of a group of women with champagne dressed to kill- which explained her attraction to them. She stopped long enough to warn Laura, "Stay. Hidden."  
Well that was quicker than I thought.  
***********  
"Ugh! It's worse coming up than it is going down." Carmilla groaned.  
Her head rested against the cool brick wall, her breathing heavy. Licking her lips, she gagged at how awful the taste was. Her vision faltered briefly as she tried to stand up straight.  
"Alright, Karnstein," She grunted, staggering once before she regained her balance, "Let's try to get home in one piece."  
She took a step forward towards the opening. Before she could take another, her leg wavered. Re-positioning herself, Carmilla chuckled at her clumsiness. Eyes on her goal, she noticed a figure standing there, blocking her way. As her eyes began to attempt making out who was standing there, she felt a sharp pain against her head and found herself smacking into the wall again. She groaned as a heavy laugh filled the night.  
************  
Once she was sure that Mattie was completely engrossed in her snack for the evening, Laura grinned triumphantly before taking off through the dancing crowd and down a nearby street. It was pure luck that Mattie had been distracted so easily. Obviously being trapped in a house with Laura for days on end affected her almost as bad as the restraints got to Laura. She thanked Dumbledore for it. Although it still creeped her out that the word "snack" could remain in Mattie's vocabulary aimed at human consumption even though Mattie was no longer dead- a gift courtesy of one Laura Eileen Hollis. It sounded more like cannibalism than sex in Laura’s mind.  
The town had definitely changed since Laura had been kept out. This was the part of Silas Mattie had made sure Laura had zero access to. The street she'd escaped through put her right there. Why Mattie had kept her away, she was unsure. She barely came here before. There were a few shops that she liked that were still there, and others that had been replaced.  
Laura remembered the Silas bar was in the center of the area, close to where she was now. There was a coffee house not too far from it. It had amazing pancakes. She wondered if it was still there.   
************  
Ouch! That's going to be a bitch in the morning!  
Her fingers grazed her forehead, blood wet on the tips. She gasped in pain, groaning at the revelation. Then angry that she was attacked.  
"What the hell is your-"  
"You are far more beautiful up close." Heavy footsteps stop in front of her.  
This guy was tall. He wasn't that big in weight, but muscular in size. Big enough to take Carmilla down in her drunken state. He just stood there, cocky. His fingers were opening and closing at his sides. He was preparing.  
"You going to tell me your name, Sweetheart? You weren't this shy onstage." He stepped closer; his eyes were red. Obviously drunk off his ass.  
"Fuck off." Carmilla growled, her head was spinning.  
"Ah. Don't be like that, baby. Let's have a little fun." His hands were on her waist. On her shoulder. In her hair. She didn't like it. It made her skin crawl.  
His breath reeked of booze and morning breath. Her stomach churned, wanting something to release again. Shoving him away with as much force as she could muster, her head began to swim. She used the wall for support, holding herself up as she leaned against it.  
"Feisty. I like that. I'm going to have some fun with you."   
She could hear the buckle of his belt jingle as he opened it. Her eyes widened. Oh, how she wished she were sober enough to defend herself properly. Strong enough to show this bastard that she was a force to be reckoned with. The small bit of her that was sober fought to remember all her sparring lessons with Kenzie. She just needed to stay on her feet. He just wouldn't back off.  
"Get...away from me." Carmilla balled up a fist, prepared to swing, hoping it'd connect.  
"Trust me, Sweetheart. You're going to change your mind in a minute." He edged closer, eyes glazing over.  
"No." She gasped. As prepared as she was, Carmilla knew he was too big to take down on her own.   
"Get ready, Sweetness." His laugh was dark, lust filled. It made Carmilla sick. Her throat tightened to prepare a scream. Hopefully someone would hear her.  
************  
The Silas Bar was still as popular as ever. Laura could hear the music from where she stood on the other side of the street. That place was always filled to capacity with college students and night owls. Usually Laura kept her distance, afraid to go inside without her friends. She knew didn't fit in there. But, tonight, she had to cross the street. She had to if she wanted to get to the pancakes. Checking both sides of the street, she crossed. It was louder on this side of the street. Her body vibrated lightly with the music. She surprised that there wasn't a line outside the door with people like it used to be. Could it really have changed that much?  
Shrugging it off, she let her feet lead her towards the direction she thought the coffee house was in. She couldn't tell if the lights and signs in the distance was it, but she was out here to explore. As she passed the bar, she noticed a motorcycle parked halfway on the sidewalk. Obviously, someone was too drunk to park properly. Hopefully they drove up sober.  
Looking around, she checked to see if anyone had come out of the bar who may know who the bike belonged to. Listening carefully, working hard to separate the noises of the wild and careless inside, she made her way towards a separate pair of voices. The closer she got, the more distinct the voices became.  
*************  
"Don't fight me, baby. You know you want me." His breath was hot against Carmilla's face.  
"No." Her voice was strong shockingly. It was completely opposite from how she was feeling. She was light-headed, angry, and afraid.   
"Don't fight me."   
Carmilla closed her eyes, waiting for him to make his move. Waiting for her moment to attack. How long could she last against him? Probably not long. Enough to get away she hoped. His body closing in on her, she braced herself.  
"I believe the lady said 'no'."  
Carmilla's eyes flew open, expanding. Her heart raced and not from the alcohol. Her breath caught in her throat. That voice! There was no way she was hearing correctly! Was she hallucinating? Did she have alcohol poisoning?  
Is this real? Letting hope that long ago disappeared get the best of her, she looked up. A crash into a pile of junk across the alley, a small form stood protectively in front of her. At least it looked small. Her vision was blurring. All she knew was that the prick was groaning in pain, flat on his ass in a pile of rubble against a dumpster. She didn't care about him anymore. All she could focus on now was the tiny shape standing over him, a distance between the three of them. So familiar. It was stupid of her to only think of one person that could be there when anybody from the club could've spotted them. But only one person would save Carmilla. But it couldn't be. It had to be a trick.  
There's no way...  
*********  
Is that? No. It can't be. Mattie said that she was-  
"No." She heard it. She knew that voice well. The tone put a chill through her body. The sight put a heat to her hands as she approached.  
Carm!  
"Don't fight me." He was so close. Was he going to-? She couldn't let him.  
........  
As he lay there, unable to pull himself to his feet, she hovered. Ready to knock him down again. Her finger twitched to make the big guy bleed. But she had to control her anger, reserve her energy. Krav Maga was for defense, but it couldn't prepare her for what was waiting behind her for who was waiting.  
"Those who are supposed to be dead." Mattie's words rang in her head.  
"Laura?"   
She closed her eyes.  
************  
"Laura?" She gasped, head swimming.  
The form turned, slowly, the left side of her face illuminated by the moon. There they were, those familiar brown eyes glistening as a soft smile played on those lips she remembered clearly. Lips that were cold and dead the last tie she'd kissed them. The day she watched that face sink 6 feet underground.  
"Hey Carm..."  
"Laura..." Everything went black.  
...........  
Carmilla groaned as she sat up, reaching for her head. She was tucked into her bed, legs tangled between the sheets. Checking her phone, she groaned again and fell flat against the pillow as memories of last night put themselves together in her head. She remembered going out. She remembered getting drunk. The song. The dancing. The douche. And she remembered the blonde that- for 2 years- haunted her dreams. Now she was haunting her life.  
There's no way she was there. Obviously, I'm hallucinating again.  
Pulling out of bed towards the kitchen for juice and aspirin, she sighed. Her stomach felt like crap. Her head felt like crap. Carmilla just felt like crap. But she couldn't get Laura out of her mind. Hallucinating Laura on the anniversary was a cliché and almost as painful as not seeing her. She wasn't there. It wasn't real. Laura was still gone.  
"Kenzie...I hope you remembered your mouth guard." Carmilla dragged herself back down the hall to her bedroom to shower before she strode out for the gym with Kenzie.  
*******  
"And just where the hell were you?" Mattie was waiting for Laura, angry at Laura's trick. Mad at herself for getting distracted. Impressed that Laura pulled that off. Still angry that she was ditched.  
"YOU TOLD ME SHE WAS GONE! CARMILLA IS STILL HERE!"


	5. 4

"Laura...what you don't understand is-"  
"OH, BUT I DO UNDERSTAND! YOU TOLD ME THAT CARMILLA WAS GONE! THAT EVERYBODY I CARED ABOUT WAS GONE. FOR TWO YEARS I'VE TRAPPED MYSELF HERE! WANDERED THIS CITY HIDING IN MISERY THINKING THAT I HAD NOBODY ELSE IN THIS WORLD BUT YOU!" Laura didn't give Mattie a chance to try and calm the storm raging in her eyes. At the moment, she didn't want it. She wanted to rage.  
Mattie tried not to let the hurt show itself. She tried to remain neutral and uncaring. It really wasn't who she could be at the moment, "You make it seem like having me is such a bad thing. Like I didn't pull you out of that hole before you ran out of air and actually died like the world thought you did. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be here seething your tiny little head off. I'm not seeing a whole lot of gratitude for any of that, darling."  
"Gratitude? You want gratitude," The closer Laura got to Mattie, the easier it was to see Mattie's wariness of the situation. It didn't do anything to soothe Laura's anger, "So I should be grateful that you've kept me hidden away, hidden in this house on the edge of the city near the woods like I’m friggin' Sleeping Beauty? I should be grateful to you for lying to me for TWO YEARS like nobody that I cared about stayed behind long enough for my flesh to rot, that they left the first chance they got? Grateful that you knew I wasn't dead, and you let my friends, my family, your sister Bury. Me. Alive! Grateful that you saved my life and let everyone I love assume that I was dead! Grateful that-"  
"Alright! Alright! You've made your point," Mattie sighed, pushing past Laura to get her own space. Laura was suffocating. But she wasn't wrong, "You're right. There could have been a better way to go about things."

"I'm not done...You let your sister, the woman that you watched condemn herself to a coffin of Ell's blood...the woman that fought so hard to be good, the woman that nearly died twice for me...You let your sister- You let Carmilla spend two years thinking I was dead," Tears spilled onto her cheeks as the storm became just a heavy rain. She turned to look at Mattie, eyes red in pain, "Who does that to someone?"  
Mattie's heart shattered. She chose to keep any thought of Carmilla's pain out of her mind from the minute she'd started shoveling dirt at that cemetery. She didn't want to imagine   
Carmilla's struggle, couldn't stand to put herself at fault for it all. It made tears sparkle in her own eyes.  
"I gave up immortality for you." Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
"And that's supposed to make us even? Not even close," Laura scoffed, stalking for the front door, "I'm going to find her. She's suffered far too long."  
"Laura, wait," Mattie hurried to block the little hurricane's advancements, her heart racing. She couldn't let Laura leave with just her perspective of the situation. Carmilla would hate her forever if Laura left now, "It's time I explain why we left."

************  
One more kick and Kenzie was face flat against the mat, blood trickling from her bottom lip. Groaning, she got to one knee to collect herself, swiping at blood with her hand.  
"Babe, come on! Our dog can get up quicker than that!" Alex shook her head with a playful smirk.  
"I'm getting my ass kicked over here if you haven't noticed!" Kenzie motioned to Carmilla with both hands as she stood to her feet.  
"Yes, kicked by a hungover Carmilla. What's your excuse on her best day?" Alex fished her phone out of her back pocket to record the rest of the fight.  
"You're not helping, sweetie!" Kenzie jumped back into action.  
Alex wasn't lying. Carmilla was giving Kenzie hell. Even though she'd been hit several times, she wasn't the one bleeding. Her head felt like she'd been victim to a serious killer marching band, her heart was frantic, and her mind was racing- which did nothing for her head. She couldn't stop thinking about last night, what pieces of it she could remember. How could Laura have possibly been there? Was it just another hallucination? If so, then who beat the living hell out of that guy? Who was protecting her? Who took her back home after she passed out? How did they know where she lived?   
"Okay! Time!" Kenzie took a few steps back off the mat, breathing heavily as sweat dripped down her stomach.  
"Had enough Kenz?" Carmilla chuckled, sitting down and pulling her knees against her chest. She wondered if she could tell Kenzie and Alex what she saw last night. Would they believe her?  
"Uh...yeah! I would like to keep my teeth. Don't think babe would like it if she had to kiss gums from now on." Kenzie took a drink from her water bottle.  
"At least I could start calling you Toothless," Alex shrugged, placing a wet towel against her girlfriend's bloody lip before addressing Carmilla, "Why are you so untamed today anyway?"  
"Yeah. You nearly ripped my head off! Twice! Yeesh! Not even famous yet outside of this city and already you're trying to kill me off for my riches! I'm offended. Kenzie snickered.  
"First of all, it's a town. Secondly, what riches? You been holding out on me, Fairway?" Alex cocked an eyebrow.  
"I have a solid gold toilet seat!"  
"You spray painted that toilet seat with a can of spray paint for $1.95!"  
"It was quality paint!"  
"Guys! Will you shut it and listen," Carmilla made her own head throb from the volume, "I saw Laura."  
Kenzie and Alex looked at one another before looking back to Carmilla with concern. They knew the story. Had heard of everything Laura was at Silas, as well as to Carmilla. Knew of last year's meltdown. Saw last year's meltdown.  
"Laura? Hollis? Very, very 'give it back to you', fortune-cookie-saves-the-world, lost her heart dead Laura Hollis?" Kenzie deadpanned.  
Carmilla threw her friend a look, not offended in the least. She was used to Kenzie by now, "Yes, Kenz. The one and only."  
"But how?" Alex frowned, punching her girlfriend's arm for her rudeness.  
Carmilla launched into the story. How she'd gone out and gotten drunk and ciaos ensued. The fuzzy bits began to come together but they weren't quite there yet. She still didn't remember how she got away or how she'd gotten trapped in the first place. Once she was finished, neither friend knew how to respond. They sat there thinking. It didn't last. Because...  
"So that's why I got my boobs handed to me on a silver platter?" Kenzie, of course, broke the silence.  
"Tell me I'm not hallucinating and she's really alive." Carmilla sighed, ignoring the urge to laugh at Kenzie. It wasn't that hard. She was distracted.  
"C.K... I don't think so. I mean, yeah, this is Silas. Shit happens. But you watched them bury her. She's gone." Alex spoke as softly as she knew how. She knew she'd lose it too if anything happened to Kenzie.  
"She's never felt gone." Carm sighed, frustrated with herself.  
Her brain said Laura was gone. Her heart didn't. For once, last night both were on the same page.  
"You still love her that much? You still feel her? After all this time?" Kenzie grabbed Alex's hand, never wanting to reach out and she not be there.  
"Always."  
Not another word left to say on the matter, the three parted ways. Although Alex and Kenzie promised to come over later. Carmilla went back to her apartment to shower away the stench of the gym. She stood there with an empty mind for a long time until she was ready to emerge. Throwing on a sports bra, sleeveless tank, and shorts, she entered her bedroom. Something caught her attention in the corner. A figure. Turning for it, her body jolted, frozen. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it. A gasp pushed itself past her lips as she tried to remember how to breathe.  
"Surprise?" Stepping out of the slightly shadowed space, eyes careful and worried, she offered a gentle smile to Carmilla.  
"No." Carmilla managed to choke out through the pressure building in her throat.  
"Carm-"  
"NO! This isn't happening. I'm not drunk anymore. She's not here. You're just hallucinating shit again." Carmilla paced in a small circle, refusing to look in Laura's direction. Afraid that Laura would still be there. Afraid that she wouldn't be.  
Now that she saw Carmilla in a stable state, Laura didn't know what to make of this. She was concerned. Carmilla didn't seem to know what reality was right now. She was terrified. What broke Laura's heart the most was that this was not the first time. Carmilla had said "again". How many times had Carmilla turned a corner and thought Laura was standing there? How many times had she reached out a hand only to be met with air? How many times had she woken up to a familiar presence only to have her own arms for comfort? Why did she have to suffer like that? As she watched Carmilla pace nervously, Laura could want nothing but to rid her of the pain she'd unintentionally caused.   
"Carmilla?" She tried to get her attention again, show Carmilla that she wasn't dreaming.  
The way Carmilla's head began to jerk softly towards the sound of Laura's voice made Laura want to cry. Carmilla's hope was shattering, losing a battle with Carmilla's brain telling her that nothing was there. Carmilla wanted Laura to be standing there. She wanted that voice to be real. But Laura knew what Carmilla was thinking. Laura was dead.  
"No. No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. You're not here. You're not here. You're not here." Smashing her hands against her ears, Carmilla attempted to drown out the mirage. But how do you ignore something that's in your head?  
"Carm, can you just-?"  
"No! No-no-no-no-no! You are dead. You are dead. You are not real. You are not real. You are just a dream floating through a stone wall!" Carmilla shook her head roughly, tears burning her eyes as the pressure continued to build.  
Laura had heard those words before, in the alternate world. In a world where she died. A world where Carmilla was-  
"Hollow," Laura muttered. Gathering herself, she managed to speak louder over the urge to cry, "Carmilla!"  
"Laura's not here. She's gone. She's gone..."  
Carmilla's stubbornness was one thing but mixed with fear it was damn near impossible to keep calm and deal with it. Yes, Carmilla had every reason to believe Laura was dead; but if Laura taught her nothing else, she taught her hope.  
"CARMILLA KARNSTEIN YOU LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW!" She screamed; her patience strained.  
Carmilla's body turned to face Laura as if it were a reflex. Her eyes were much slower as they found Laura's face again. Laura watched Carmilla's rigid form from her side of the room. At least she'd gotten her attention.  
"I'm here." She ensured her. Carmilla needed the push. Needed to know that Laura wasn't a dream, a nightmare, or a mirage. She was here and she was real.  
Carmilla's eyes rolled in her head before she fell to the floor, unconscious.  
"We've got to stop meeting like this." Laura ran to pull Carmilla's body up and in bed.  
She sighed to herself and took this time to recollect herself before Carmilla woke up.  
She had some explaining to do.


	6. 5

She winced as the light hit her eyes. She felt faint. Her memory was cloudy as she let her eyes remain closed, not wanting to lose the darkness. For once in her life, she preferred to be trapped in the dark. The light was too much trouble to let in.  
Ugh. What the hell happened?  
She remembered getting into the shower. She remembered getting out. Walking into her room. And seeing-.  
"Laura!" She gasped, sitting up too fast for her head to handle.   
"Please don't pass out again." Carmilla's eyes whipped back to the same corner she'd heard the voice the first time. Laura was watching her skeptically.  
"You-you're not," Carmilla's mind was all over the place. How could Laura be standing here? In her apartment? In her room? How could Laura be standing at all? She'd watched her body descend. She was at the funeral. She watched her die, "You're not...real."  
Laura frowned, saddened at what Carmilla's become. Unsure of what she was seeing in front of her. Unsure if this truly was her reality. If Laura was reality.  
"But, I am."  
"You're not." Carmilla didn’t know what to believe. Her heart wanted Laura there so badly. She craved her. Like a drug. Like she was an addict. But her brain wasted no time telling her that any hope towards the situation was a mistake.   
"I'm here," Bravely crossing the space to where Carmilla was, Laura took in a deep breath, preparing to do something she'd craved to do from the second she'd been told she'd never see Carmilla again. Quickly, grabbing her hand before she could pull back in fear, she placed it on her heart, "See? Heartbeat and everything."  
There it was. Contact. Physical touch. Laura's touch. Warmth. Soft skin. So distinctly Laura that it's impossible to describe. And the unique erratic thumping of her heart. Even without her vampire senses, she could feel it. Like it was outside instead of in. Carmilla's breath hitched in her throat. Her fingers twitched against the soft skin, verifying everything she'd hoped in her heart to be true. Laura was there. Laura is here. Laura is real.  
"But how can you be?" She dared to look into those honey brown eyes, needing to understand just what the frilly hell was going on.  
Laura sighed, happy that Carm had no longer thought her a dream, "You can thank your sister for that...twice I guess."  
"I don't understand."  
Just as quickly as the warmth had come, the cold replaced it again. Laura removed herself from Carmilla, letting her hand fall against the bed. Laura was still angry with Mattie for lying to her. For keeping her hidden and letting all this pain build up. But she couldn't not be grateful for her sacrifices.  
"Well, after I decided to take a page out of your book with the self-sacrifice, I'm guessing Mattie figured out a way to get her death God to save my life. Although, it didn't happen as quickly as one would hope. I woke up in a coffin," Laura's body began to shake involuntarily at the memory, "I was 6 feet underground and running out of air when Mattie found me. Dug me out and saved my life."  
"Mattie? H-how? I thought she was-"  
"Dead? Nailed down, coffin deep, dizzy villain dead? Well, she was. It's-"  
"How can both of you be alive?" Carmilla hurled herself out of bed and began to pace the floor.  
"Complicated." Laura sighed, turning her body to face Carmilla.  
"You died! Both of you! Other than Enana's friggin' resurrection or the ever-popular vampire bite the both of you should be serving the Undergod right now! This doesn't add up!"  
"Yeah? I said the same when I found out you were alive." Laura gave the taller girl a tiny smile. Of course, Carmilla didn't see it. She was too busy pacing.  
Was.  
Stopping abruptly, hands balling to fists, Carmilla fixed Laura with an icy glare. Her hands were trembling, and her nostrils flared. Laura nearly shrunk into herself, if she could even shrink anymore. She didn't understand why Carmilla was so angry suddenly.  
"What," Carmilla took a step towards her bed. Towards Laura, "What?"  
"I-I found out you were alive," Putting on a brave face, Laura continued, "Since the Dean's use of my heart didn't exactly work and she returned where she belonged, I was sure you'd be dead. Even if she wasn't killed, her death was supposed to result in your death. And since Mattie saved my life, I figure that ended my deal with Enana. So, when I woke up, and Mattie told me that you were still alive, I was more than surprised."  
The anger did not diminish. If anything, it grew. Carmilla's eyes were turning red where white should've been. Laura finally took Carmilla in completely for the first time.  
Did she cut her hair?  
"You knew I was alive?"  
"Carm listen-"  
"You knew this entire time and you come here now?"  
"No! Carm you don't get it!"  
"I SPENT TWO YEARS THINKING YOU WERE ROTTING IN THE GROUND! WHAT DON'T I GET LAURA?"  
"WOULD YOU HAVE BELIEVED IT? WOULD YOU HAVE HONESTLY ACCEPTED THAT I WAS ALIVE? THAT I WAS REAL? JESUS, CARMILLA, I WANTED TO FIND YOU! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA! BUT MATTIE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE GONE! THAT YOU, MY DAD, AND EVERYBODY I KNEW HAD LEFT THE FUCKING CITY THE SECOND A CHANCE CAME! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY SAY ANYTHING? HOW COULD I FIND YOU CARMILLA? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"  
Silence. It was an opportunity for both girls to calm down. To catch a breath. To listen.  
"You cursed...twice," Carmilla breathed deep, shoulders relaxing.  
Laura scoffed, "You cut your hair. Why?"  
Slowly, she made her way back to her bed, taking her place in front of Laura again. She shrugged as she sat, "It suddenly felt like it was time for a change."  
Nodding, Laura took another glance at the cropped, black locks before staring into her lap. Her fingers toyed with one another as she processed. They had much more than hair to talk about.  
"Mattie knew that none of you would believe it if I had come back. I wasn't immortal. I wasn't magical. Not a vampire. I was human, so my coming back would have caused more confusion than necessary. And she knew that you of all people would be far less likely to accept a miracle than anybody else. She didn't know what it would do to you and she didn't want to risk it. And she knew that the town would go completely insane if anyone saw me. So, for my protection- and yours- she kept me hidden. She bought a house in the woods and that's where we've been living for the past two years-"  
"Laura you're rambling." Carmilla smirked, happy to hear the word vomit again and it be real.  
"It's a nice house. Big. But not really Mattie. So, she suffered a little, I guess. We barely left the place. Mattie worked from home and I basically became the bratty younger sister; so, I kind of stole your spot for a while there. As nice of a house as it is, it became almost like a prison. If we left to come into town- which was rare- I always wore a hoodie or a hat of some sort. I couldn't wear my normal clothes. And we never came close to this area-"  
"Laura." Carmilla chuckled, absentmindedly placing a hand on Laura's knee and squeezing. She realized what she'd done and forced herself to remove it. Laura however continued full throttle.  
"It was only after so much begging that I got her to go to the Pride parade last night. I was, of course, hidden under a hoodie. She ditched me to go 'enjoy' a few of the people in the crowd, gave me an opportunity to sneak away. So, I did. That's when I found you."  
She wasn't crazy. She wasn't just drunk. Laura had been there. Laura had saved her life. Laura took her home. Laura drove her motorcycle. She'd have to see that in person.  
"So, all this time, you've been with Mattie, hiding for your own protection? I've been visiting an empty grave...," Carmilla sighed, taking it all in, "How do you survive two years with Mattie? Ghost Mattie..."  
Laura chuckled, "With a lot of cookies and patience. Besides, she's not a ghost anymore. Enana took the immortality she rewarded her for helping us because she pulled me from my grave. She's human. Guess you'll be the only immortal in Silas for a while."  
"Um...Cupcake?"  
............  
"YOU'RE HUMAN?"  
"...You drove my motorcycle?"


	7. 6

"Surprise?" Carmilla shrugged with an apologetic smile.  
As she replayed Laura's words from earlier in her head, Carmilla waited for Laura to stop saying "You're human" like she had been for the past three minutes. She grabbed her book off her bedside table; but she couldn't concentrate on it. Laura had said that Mattie saved her. Twice. Mattie protected her. Mattie lived with her. Mattie cared for her...Mattie lied to her.  
Did Mattie even tell her? Did Laura know? What if Mattie never told her? She could've spent the past 2 years completely misinformed; just as Carmilla spent 2 years thinking Laura was dead. Spent 2 years thinking Mattie was dead. 2 years believing she'd lost the two people she cared for most in this world. And they were alive.  
She could only imagine what Laura was thinking for 2 years. Unsure if her father was alive. If her friends were alive. If Carmilla was alive. How could Mattie live with herself- live with Laura- knowing this was happening?  
Regardless of whatever Mattie had done, or didn't do, Carmilla owed her for keeping Laura safe. If it wasn't for Mattie, she wouldn't be peering over her book staring at a Laura Hollis that was probably burning a hole through her shoes right now. Carmilla was tempted to sniff the air for burning rubber.   
She watched Laura fly back and forth, happy to have the dramatic fireball back in her life again as more than just a memory or a hallucination. Or a nightmare.   
Finally, Laura plopped onto the be with one final "you're human" breathing in and out in a brief moment of hesitation.  
"I see yoga is still working for you, Cupcake." Carmilla snickered.  
"You're human!" Laura's hair went wild at her level of shock and surprise. She'd bounced so hard that it flipped into her face.  
Carmilla scoffed, tossing her book to the side. "You know, the Laura Hollis I remember had a far more extended vocabulary."  
Laura turned to face Carmilla, who nearly burst into laughter. That deer-in-headlights look was always one of the cutest faces Laura ever made. Which tied it with all of them. But she didn't realize how much she'd missed it; or, how adorably hilarious it was.  
"How in Hagrid's beard are you human?" Laura positioned her body to face Carmilla, partially resting on her knee.  
Carmilla gave her a tiny grin, focusing on a loose string on her comforter, "Mattie didn't save you."  
"What?"  
"I did."  
Laura stood again, a hand resting against her forehead. How much was she going to find out today? She waved a hand at Carmilla so fast that Carmilla was sure it would fall off, "Explain please."  
"I gave up my life for yours." Carmilla shrugged. She would do it again.  
"Explain that! What does that mean?"  
Carmilla sighed, sitting up. She should've known Laura wasn't going to let her get off that easy. She needed details like a real journalist. Did Laura still want to be a journalist? Was she able to pursue that with Mattie's help? Did she finish college? They would talk about later, Carmilla was sure. If she could get past this conversation, anything was possible.  
"Well, after you went all Supergirl on me and sacrifice your heart, my mother returned to...wherever gods go. Heaven? Limbo? Her kingdom? For my mother...hell? Anyway, she thought it a gift to return my mortality. Guess she had a new thing for giving people back to themselves."  
"You were dead. No heartbeat. No heart. We'd thought at least. I couldn't just leave you down there. And I couldn't not try to save you. So, I gave up my life for yours. Mattie's Death God allowed me the opportunity to save you...after I pitched the idea, of course. She gave me a riddle. I got it right..."  
"I didn't think it worked. You didn't wake up. I carried your body out of the pit. We had your funeral. We buried you. You were dead. Guess we were wrong."  
Carmilla didn't expect Laura to say anything right away. It was a lot to take in. She'd been kept in the dark about so many things. Her father. Her friends. Her death. Her silence- and her previous dramatic, excessive pleading for Carmilla to explain- led Carmilla to her answer right away. Mattie never told her.  
"What riddle?" Laura quirked an eyebrow, confused.  
That's what you got out of that? Quick on the come up, Hollis.  
"'You cannot see me, touch me, or hear me. I lie behind the stars and alter what is real. Close your eyes and I come near. I am what you really fear. What am I'" Carmilla remembered that riddle like it was etched in her mind. Because it was.   
It was her one chance to save Laura's life. It had felt all too easy of a challenge for a death god to give a 334-year-old murderer; but, Carmilla hoped that, for once, it was just that easy. How it broke her heart when it did nothing for the girl she loved. The girl that made her fear nothing anymore. Nothing, except losing Laura. A fear that- for 2 years- became real.  
"She made it that simple for you?" Laura was confused.  
All it took to bring her back was a riddle about the dark? It was more than that. It was throwing Carmilla's fears in her face. It was a disrespect. A payback. Enana threw Carmilla in her own version of darkness. She put her in a new coffin of blood, not expecting her plan to go wrong. Not expecting Laura to survive her own supposed death. Not expecting Mattie to save Laura and give up her own immortality, ending her control over them all. Not expecting to fail. Nothing is ever expected when you add in Laura Hollis.  
"She did. Supposedly, she was giving me mercy because of your purity and good intentions. Well, I'm guessing. That's what I believe." Carmilla smiled, a real smile. Laura was the reason for everything good in her life.  
"Well, I guess I should be thanking you." Laura smiled back, blush on her cheeks.  
Before Carmilla could reply, both their stomachs began to growl. Growl could be an understatement. Laura was sure she could hear a dog barking his response in the distance. She hadn't eaten in hours. She didn't want to be rude and raid Carmilla's kitchen. Besides, she was sure there was nothing there anyway.  
"Can you thank me with breakfast? You broke into my home. The least you can do is feed me." Carmilla rose to her feet, stretching herself tall until her back cracked.  
"You have food in this place? Color me surprised," Laura was astonished. Carmilla never bought food before unless Laura was sick; and, even then, she hated it. Maybe she had to get over it. There was no maybe. She had to get over it.  
"Careful, Hollis," Carmilla made her way through the doorway, "I have chocolate..."  
Without another, Laura followed behind the taller girl. As they made their way to the kitchen, something caught Laura's attention on a hallway table. First of all, Carmilla had furniture. She didn't pay much attention to it before. Secondly, there was a beautiful sunset painting with stars glistening as light changed to dark. It was perfect. It was filled with emotion and history. It looked familiar. She looked at the signature at the bottom.  
K_Art  
She gasped, "Carm?"  
Carmilla turned, standing in place, rolling her eyes at Laura, "Yes, I have furniture, Hollis. Make fun."  
Laura lifted the painting, eyeing it in wonder. "Did you do this?"  
"Yeah. I do paintings for commission. I'm supposed to meet the customer in person in a few hours. I generally don't do that; but this one was adamant about meeting the artist." Carm shrugged.  
"This is mine..."  
"What?" Carmilla frowned, getting closer.  
"It's mine. I ordered this. SweetestCompanion?"   
Both of them just stood there. Carmilla didn't know what to say. What could she say? They'd spoken before and never knew.   
"We would've met anyway. No matter what." Laura smiled, turning the canvas back to stare again.  
"Yeah, because you're too stubborn to take 'no' for an answer." Carmilla started for her kitchen again, "Why did you pick that out of all other paintings? Why didn't you choose a bunny or something? Doesn't sound very Hollis of you, a sunset."  
Laura absentmindedly started behind her again, "I missed you."   
Carmilla smiled to herself, making herself busy to keep the tears from falling down her face. It made her heart soar. Laura needed a piece of her. She needed her. That wasn't a Hollis thing. It was a Laura thing.   
"I missed you, too, Laura." Carmilla coughed before her voice could break. She was far too hungry for this conversation, "Let's get you fed."  
..........  
"I thought I owed you?" Laura leaned against the counter by the stove, watching Carmilla chop grilled chicken into pieces. She'd tried to start a meal; but, Carmilla had stopped her.  
"I know. You owe me dinner. Or dessert. Whichever makes your night, cutie." Carm smirked, stirring a pot of boiling rice.  
Laura rolled her eyes, missing those flirty little comments. It was basically a lot of laughter and jokes as Carmilla finished lunch. It was too late for breakfast. Broccoli, rice, and chicken in a cheese sauce. Of course, she set a package of cookies on the counter for dessert. They sat on the couch in the living room and pulled up Netflix. Carmilla let Laura choose, rolling her eyes when Laura picked Wynonna Earp. She definitely saw Laura in Waverly. It's a good thing nothing's changed.  
Besides the sound of revenants being blown back to hell by a crazy chick with a gun, nothing more could be heard besides the scraping of forks against dishes. it was a comfortable silence. A little too comfortable. It actually caused Carmilla some discomfort. They'd went about the hours as if nothing had ever happened. Like Laura had never died. Like they hadn't spent 2 years apart. It was just a present place set in the past. The past that would've been their present if things had gone to plan.   
"Carm? I can hear you thinking from over here." Laura giggled as she sat her empty bowl to the side and turned to face Carmilla, "What is it?"  
Carmilla didn't know if she wanted to ask the questions in her head or not. What if the answers were too much for her to handle? What if they were too personal for Laura? So many 'what if's'. So many things to say. She didn't know where to start.  
"Hey," Laura placed a gentle hand on Carmilla's shoulder, "This isn't for either of us. I'll tell you anything you want to know; but, I want to enjoy this with you. Just for right now. I just want to be with you."  
Carmilla grinned, wrapping her arms carefully around Laura's shoulders, breathing in the familiar scent that is Laura. Once the blonde had comfortably snuggled herself into the taller girl, Carmilla increased the pressure of her arms, holding Laura tighter.   
"I'm not going anywhere, Cupcake." She promised.  
And that was all they needed as they slowly began to drift off together to the sound the TV.


	8. 7

*Possible Trigger Warning*

"Carm?"  
"Carm, come on. Wake up!"  
Carmilla groaned, stirring. She could feel a gentle pressure pushing against her stomach. It was so soft. A hand. Laura's hand. She'd forgotten that Laura was no longer just a dream. She was here and she was real. They'd watched some show that Laura had picked out; something about a crazy bitch with a gun. She'd have to get into that one. She actually liked it. What she saw of it anyways. They'd fallen asleep before it was over. The last thing Carmilla registered was Laura's arms wrapping around her and the sounds of something apparently being blown to Hell. Now, she had Laura trapped on the couch, her head pressed into her neck and black curls tickling her nose. And all Carmilla wanted was to stay there. But Laura wasn't having it.   
She wasn't quite sure this wasn't a dream. It was much too familiar. She was tired, barely awake, and dreaming of Laura. This had happened way too many times before. And- just like before- Carmilla simply played along until the cupcake disappeared and she was alone again.  
"Cupcake, go back to sleep! We can talk later." Carm mumbled against the soft skin of Laura's neck. She could feel Laura's pulse, it raced a little after she spoke.  
"Carm, please? I have to pee." Laura, whined, pushing at Carmilla yet again. Her hand was growing numb from being pinned between two bodies. Plus, she was hot! Her stomach felt sticky and her bladder was screaming for relief.   
"Mmm...sshh!" Carmilla slid a hand across the smaller girl's face, trying to consciously cover her mouth. But, instead, she just basically smacked her.  
Frustrated, and needing a bathroom, Laura huffed. It was harder getting Carmilla awake than Laura remembered. Was it always this difficult? Carmilla couldn't get up for two seconds to let her pee? Apparently not. The girl was still just as lazy, grumpy, and nocturnal as she was in college. Could it have possibly gotten worse?  
...It definitely could've gotten worse. Regardless, it was going to have to take a break for a moment. With one swift motion, Laura tossed Carmilla to the floor, hopping up before the broody ex-vampire pounced on her again. Quickly, she ran off to find the bathroom before the floor became one.  
With a yelp, Carmilla woke abruptly, cowering over a few feet and bringing her knees to her chest as her heart threatened to jump ship. She should've been used to it by now, but that dream was so much more real than all the others. Everything made her believe that Laura was really there. She could feel her. She could smell her. She couldn't have made that entire day up. Had her mind really tricked her again? That well?   
As Carmilla looked around the room, her heart began to break more. The room was empty of any physical indication that Laura had been there. The couch was disheveled from where she'd fallen asleep. Her bowl from breakfast still sat on the table. The television was sitting on her Netflix list. Nothing showed that Laura was ever there. Except the smell.  
The room smelled different. It wasn't the same average smell of dry paint, leftover pizza, and boyfriend candles. Or the occasional whiff of Carmilla's sweat from practicing. It smelled lighter. It smelled homier. It smelled like her. Unrelenting tears fell from her eyes and began to make puddles on the floor. As she wept. She felt betrayed by her own mind. She tricked herself into truly believing Laura had come back. Had this brilliant story of how she'd survived. How she'd returned. She almost completely believed it to be true. How could she have possibly come up with it on her own?   
She felt her breathing begin to shallow and break, breath coming in gasps. The feeling of anxiety and despair filling her. Her chest felt heavier. Weighed down. Realizing all too soon what was happening, she pushed herself to resolve it.  
"Touch...5 things...Carmilla. Say...them." Reaching for things around her, Carmilla followed her own instructions, "Plant...P-p-pillow...Floor...Tab-table...Bowl."  
"Good. 4 things you...hear." She focused her ears to what was surrounding her. It felt nearly impossible through the tidal wave crashing inside her.  
"I hear...cars passing. W-water r-running. I hear...a very annoying dog. Uh...the wind."  
It began to get easier to breathe. Her anxiety lowering. Not much. But it was a start. She didn't expect any more than that. She knew better.  
"Okay. Okay. 3 things you smell." Carmilla was also getting better at focusing her senses. She had two years of practice after all. More than that if you count the years she spent fearing a box. "I smell...what I cooked. For breakfast. I smell my honey scented candle. I smell...my shoes."  
"Almost there. Good. 2 things. 2 things you feel." She closed her eyes for more focus. It really was an annoying ass dog, "I feel devastated...and alone."  
"Last one, Carmilla. One thing you see." Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes, scanning the room for something she hadn't mentioned. She had to wipe her eyes several times. She couldn't see past the tears.  
"We really need to work on your- Carm?" Laura came around the corner, pausing at the sight of a wide-eyed, crying Carmilla in fetal position on the floor.  
Carmilla gasped, violently shaking her head so much that it blurred her vision more than the tears, "I see her."  
Laura hurried to Carmilla's side, grabbing her face in her hands. Counting to ten as many times as it took for Carmilla to breathe properly again. Enough that it didn't worry her. It's what Mattie would do every time she would wake up screaming from dreams of being trapped in the coffin again. It was the only thing she could think of in the moment.  
"Are you alright?"   
Carmilla could only stare at her, "You're real? You're here?"  
"I'm real. I'm here. I'm right here. I promise." Laura reassured her.  
Not able to hold anymore in, Carmilla buried herself into Laura's chest, letting her emotions take over. Letting 2 years of grief and loss and pain out into the open for the first time in months. Laura could only hold on tight and cry with her as Carmilla's screams bounced off the walls.  
.........  
They sat quietly on the couch now that Carmilla had finally calmed down. Laura had helped her to the couch and there they've been for the past 20 minutes. No one said anything. Nobody moved. Carmilla, legs brought up with her elbows dangling over them, starred at nothing in particular. Her mouths lightly gaped open and barely blinking, she just sat there. Laura was too afraid to move, scared that Carmilla would forget she was real again and go through another attack. So, she stayed. It's not like she was planning to go anywhere anyway. But, sitting here, she feared that Carmilla was no longer there. Not now.  
"Carm, are you okay?" She reached out to touch Carmilla's hand but thought better of it and pulled back.  
Carmilla blinked several times. Like she was bringing herself back to reality. She didn't say anything still. Waiting. She was sure now that she was awake. That Laura was here. That this is really happening. She just needed her mind to believe it. If this were anyone else, Carmilla would put herself in a mental hospital...because coming back from the dead like the fucking Lazarus effect just doesn't happen; unless you're a vampire...or a zombie. Or, you're Laura.  
The spell. Oh, yeah, the spell. Mattie's Death God's stupid riddle. Remember, Carmilla. That wasn't a dream. It worked.  
She ran through everything she remembered from the past few hours. Everything from the past few days. Everything until she made herself believe that it was true. It all happened. Laura came back. She's alive. Mattie's alive. Everything would finally be okay after so long.  
One she gave herself clarity, she nodded to answer the blonde next to her, "Yeah, Cupcake. I'm fine. Kind of lost my cool there. It's okay. It happens."  
Laura sighed, happy Carmilla was okay. It was funny how two years apart changed Carmilla so much. Laura wasn't sure how much of Carmilla she didn't know. This part, she most definitely did not know; and she didn't like it. She didn't like not knowing all Carmilla there was to know. Even if it was sad or dark or tragic. It was Carmilla. That made it worth knowing.  
"How long has this been happening? Is this how you've been since I... since before? I have to know." She urged Carmilla gently, afraid to cause any more pain for her, but knowing both needed this.  
Carmilla chuckled, finally locking a brief eye with Laura now that both were in reality, "Is this gonna be like your little 'Mircalla's Death Day' puppet show? Because, if so, you're missing the rope and I'm well fed, Cutie."  
It brought a smile to Laura's face. A small one, but it was enough for Carmilla. She probably wouldn't smile for a while after what she was about to hear.  
"I spoke at your funeral. I spoke to you. 'I was supposed to keep you safe...I was supposed to keep her safe. I just hope, wherever she is, she knows that she meant-. That she means more to me than anyone ever has'"  
"I touched your hand. It was so cold. It's how I knew you were truly gone. You weren't going to pop out of the casket and say something that only Laura Hollis could say. Probably 'Don't take this the wrong way or anything. But, why am I not dead?' You weren't going to wake up."  
"I watched your coffin being pulled into the ground, watched you leaving me, and it took Laf and Danny to catch me in time before I jumped in after you. You were worth another century in the ground. I lay there on the ground and watched you disappear."  
"'Please don't leave me.'"  
Carmilla recalled the rip in her chest as she lay there with arms wrapped securely around her. Arms that weren't Laura's. Vulnerable. Defeated. Lost.  
"I spent months trying to forget you. Trying to pretend that you were never here. Like you didn't exist. But, I couldn't. I saw you everywhere. I started hallucinating you. Dreaming of you. I couldn't function without you for such a long time. I lost weight. It was noticeable. My choice of relief was alcohol. As much of it as I could handle and then some. I-I became addicted. It didn't take you away. It took me away. But it didn't last very long. Not with it being so frequent. Laf and Perry helped me out there. Kept me away from alcohol until I was able to drink in moderation."  
"The first anniversary of your death came. I couldn't handle it. I'd been doing much better. I'd joined a free sparring class and made friends with the owner and her girlfriend. Me, friends, if you can believe that. They found out about you pretty quickly. Of course, this is Silas, so they knew of you. But they really got to know you because of me. I became more open for a time. But, the day of your anniversary, I slipped. I got so drunk I couldn't see clearly."  
"It was on purpose, the drinking. I wanted to go away again. I wanted to die. I couldn't be without you for another year. Another day. So, I bought a few packs of beer, I drank them all. Got on my motorcycle with a bottle, and I flew. I wound up at your grave. Barely able to stand to mt feet. I remember sitting next to your gravestone and just talking out of my ass. I'm not sure what I said. I must've fallen asleep because, the next thing I knew, I wasn't alone anymore. Everybody, Laf, Perry, your father, Danny, Kirsch, Mel, even Kenzie and Alex were trying to pull me away from you. I don't remember it. Laf tells me I fought and crawled back to you, wrapping myself around your gravestone, screaming, crying, and growling against anyone that tried to make me leave. It took some time, but they eventually got me away. They had to drive me home. I was too sick to drive myself, and I needed a new motorcycle. I crashed mine...Wasn't my best moment."  
"I got better after that. It took a lot of...friends' help. This year wasn't as bad as the last. I got drunk simply to take my mind off it. I had no intention of being drastic this time. That bastard in the alley was just the universe attacking me, I guess. As far as panic...the attacks never stop. Because I would still dream. It's been a while though. Until recently. It comes and goes like that. So, yeah, that's been my life." By the time Carmilla finished, both girls were in tears.  
Laura wanted to throw herself into Carmilla's arms. Wanted to pull Carmilla into hers. She just wanted to hold her. To be held. And let Carmilla forget she was ever gone. It broke her heart to imagine Carmilla like that. She was worse than the Carmilla she remembered from the alternate universe. She wasn't a sad, broken shell. She'd shattered it.  
"What about your hair?" Laura sniffled, opting to spit out the most random, irrelevant question floating around in her head. It seemed better than making the air thicker than it already was.  
It worked. She actually managed to get Carmilla to crack a tiny smile. She'd take whatever small victory she could get. If she had to tackle the brunette to the ground and tickle her to death at risk of getting a rebuttal, she'd do it and accept the consequences.  
"I cut it to see if it would grow back like it would when I was an early vampire. It didn't. So, I got a professional to fix my crappy, rusty scissored shit fest and I just never let it grow back much," Carmilla wiped some leftover tears from her face, "Plus, I always figured you liked my hair long back then, so I never cut it. Even though I wanted to."  
Laura rolled her eyes playfully, "OH, I'm sure there's been someone else who boosted your ego in my absence."  
Carmilla shrugged, "No, actually. No one."  
Now Laura had to frown. She thought Carmilla would've drowned herself in faceless warm bodies any chance she got. It was one of her recurring nightmares. That's what Carmilla had done before she and Laura had even met. She had a continuous concave of study buddies the first time they met. Why not now?  
(Because she loved you, you idiot!)  
"But, you-"  
"Sharing my bed with any random cute girl in my eyesight isn't exactly my taste anymore," Carmilla smirked, "They weren't you."  
Laura tried to make words. But all she could manage was a bunch of rambling, stuttering, and broken phrases. Carmilla thought it was adorable. Out of everything Laura just heard, this was her concern. This left her speechless. Typical.  
"Yeah, it's true. Make fun. I've been celibate for two years. You can alert the media. Start a hashtag." Carmilla shoved Laura's knee.  
"But-but, how? Granted, same. But, you're...you!" Laura was happy that she wasn't the only one. But, also, clearly, surprised.  
"Are you doing this to tease me? How many times are you going to make me say it, Hollis? I didn't want anyone that wasn't you! -"  
"But how did you last so long? You're Carmilla!"  
"I'll show you my collection later." Carmilla deadpanned. Laura's body went rigid, eyes shocked, "I'm kidding! It isn't hard when you're not attracted to anyone else. How did you, Hollis? There were plenty of eligible candidates, I'm sure."   
"I basically lived in isolation with your sister. You do the math." Laura scoffed, "Besides, I kind of hoped you'd come back."  
Laura blushed, ducking behind her hair. It was hard to spend all that time stuck with Mattie not thinking about Carmilla's many talents. She had to use her own methods to survive it. That was a struggle of its own. Keeping herself quiet was especially hard when she absolutely should be quiet. Luckily, Mattie never seemed to have found out.  
Carmilla's signature shit-eating smirk presented itself for the first time in a very long time, reserved only for Laura. She moved Laura's hair to the side to see that red and flustered face she used to love, still does.  
"Laura Hollis? Were you waiting for me?"  
Laura blushed harder, wanting so badly to cover her face with her hands, but fought against it. Not wanting to look like she was hiding any more than she already was. But it was the only thing Carmilla needed, that blush.  
"Aw! You romantic! I'm flattered!" Carmilla teased.  
"Hey, you were pining over a dead girl! If that's not a Rom-Com in the making, I don't know what is." Laura shoved Carmilla's hand away, rolling her eyes as she pulled her hand through her hair for separation.  
Carmilla scoffed, laughing at the smaller girl, "You spent the first semester of college pining over a dead girl!"  
"Fair point," Laura pouted, no way to disagree with her. But glad they were at a point where they could joke about each other being dead. It was a very good progression, "But, that dead girl was Carmilla Karnstein."  
"That dead girl was Laura Hollis. Definitely worth waiting for, Cupcake."   
The brief playful banter died down to silence once again. It wasn't suffocating. It wasn't uncomfortable. It was peaceful. Normal. Like nothing had changed. Carmilla remembered that feeling again. Finally.  
"So... you waited for a dead girl. A romantic Carmilla Karnstein. Your 1698 is showing." Laura poked at Carmilla with an arrogant smile.  
Carmilla gave Laura a look. A partial warning. Yet, a tease. It was probably the most Carmilla look she could give. Besides her seduction eyes, which weren't very far behind. Now that Laura was back, Carmilla could finally enjoy her favorite past time: teasing Laura Hollis.   
"Well, not all of it, Cutie. We're not waltzing...or, you know, waltzing." Carmilla's lips were barely an inch away from Laura's ear. Her breath caressed the skin ever so slightly as she rose to her feet, "Would you like that?"  
And here come the seduction eyes!  
As she stood, grabbing her empty bowl from the table as she rose, Carmilla's eyes burned holes through those doey brown Hollis eyes. She was sure she could see Laura's pupils dilate and explode. Even without vampiric hearing, she caught Laura's gasp. It was loud enough. Backing away towards the kitchen, she never locked away. She didn't waver. Didn't blink. She did saunter. And she stayed in the open area until she could see the shake in Laura's body from where she stood. And she smiled. Victorious.  
"Don't worry, Cupcake. I don't think we're quite there yet." Carmilla smirked to herself as she turned to give Laura a chance to breathe as she put her bowl in the sink to be dish washed later...right next to Laura's. This explained why she only saw one earlier.  
Good job, Karnstein. Good-. Holy shit!  
She'd turned to go back to her living room but was caught short. Laura was standing directly behind her. Carmilla hadn't even heard her come in. How the hell did she move so lightly.  
"Laura, what the f-"  
"Sshh." Laura's eyes were locked on her lips. She moved a little closer, placing a hand on Carmilla's waist, "Can I?"  
Laura placed her other hand softly against Carmilla's cheek. Carmilla closed her eyes, mouthwatering with anticipation. Desire. It had been so long. And the way Laura was looking at her, the feeling was mutual.  
"Laura...please..."   
A husky, pleading whisper and they were moving slowly towards one another, letting the moment build. Their lips were so close now. Carmilla could feel Laura's breath on her skin. She'd hoped so long for this. Craved it.  
"HEY, KARNSTEIN! YOU MISSED YOUR SESSION AND-.... Oh, well then."  
Hey, you guys! I know that was probably pretty hard and stressful in the beginning. I have only a brief experience with panic attacks; so, if I got something wrong, please let me know so that I can improve it. I know how important representation and understanding is and I want to do a good job and give the situation justice. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.  
One year of Negovanstein. We honestly had no idea we'd get so many wonderful people reading our stories. We are so thankful for all of you. I speak for myself and my Negovanstein group members when I say we are so thankful for each and every one of you. These guys aren't just my group mates, they're my best friends and I love them dearly. Without them, Negovanstein wouldn't be here and neither would these stories. And without you guys, none of this would be possible. So, thank you for getting us where we are.   
Introduce more people to our work! We love getting new people's reactions to the stories. They're important to us. Don't forget that we have our own separate accounts as well! The links are in our description! We love you all! See you next time, Creampuffs! :*


	9. 8

Damn it.  
Carmilla huffed, her head drooping to hide the heat in her face. Quickly wiping it away (hopefully), she edged around Laura to stand before her intruder. She folded her arms across her chest with obvious irritation.  
"You couldn't come by some other time? Like never?"  
"Aw! But then you'd miss me too much. We can't have that now, can we?" Kenzie grinned at her friend playfully, uncaring about her interruption, "You missed your sparring session, K-Dub. I had to check in, be sure you weren't being a lazy sour apple green. Obviously not."  
Lazy sour apple green? Who in Hogwarts' name says ridiculous things like that?  
Laura didn't turn to face either of the girls. She remained facing the opposite direction, using her hair as a shield as she bent against the counter. She was supposed to be dead after all. Dead girls don't get caught in Carmilla Karnstein's kitchen, and they definitely don't get introduced to Carmilla Karnstein's friends. So, Laura just remained silent, thinking of a way to lie when her presence was mentioned. Who could she pretend to be? She peered down at her gray t-shirt and jeans. A delivery girl?  
You're certainly in the outfit to pull it off. Maybe Carm was just 'giving me a tip'. That's it!  
"Yeah, I'm sure. That gives you the right to just barge into my apartment? How'd you even get in here?"   
"Um, the door? You should really lock that thing. The wrong person may walk in." Kenzie peered over Carmilla's shoulder to the blonde in the kitchen.  
"You don't say." Carmilla muttered.  
"Speaking of walking in," Kenzie gave Carmilla a look as she began to walk in Laura's direction.  
Ah shit.  
Carm took a step back, trying to block Kenzie's path. She didn't know how her friend would react to the news. Probably a lot better than she did. What if Kenzie thought she was crazy? She probably wouldn't be wrong. However, this would also finally prove once and for all that Laura was real. If someone else could see her...  
"Kenz, I have to tell you something. She-."  
"I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Mackenzie Spielsdorf. You can call me 'Kenzie'." Kenzie finally made it past Carmilla, only to be blocked yet again. She looked at Carm with confusion and a tight smile, "Yo, dude relax. You don't have to be embarrassed about seeing someone. It's been long enough."  
"She's not-"  
"I'm sure she's cool. I'm just glad I didn't walk into you two having your sparring session."  
"Woah there a minute, Kenz! We're not-."  
"Though, not seeing you naked is almost a disappointment..."  
What?  
"Kenzie, shut up and listen to me!" Carmilla ran a hand through her hair, terrified. "I'm not sleeping with her. I'm still celibate. She's-. She's Laura."  
Kenzie gawked at her friend like Carmilla had just removed her own head. Carmilla was internally preparing for the freak out waiting to happen. Laura was wondering how quickly she could duck out the front door before anybody caught her. Carmilla couldn't even believe herself about Laura being alive, how could she expect Carmilla's friend to?   
After agonizing seconds of silence, Kenzie scared both and Laura and Carmilla with a roaring laugh, "Ha! Nice try, Karnstein. I'm glad you can have a sense of humor about it now. And I can see why you'd think I'd believe that's Laura. You definitely have a type."  
"I'm not kidding." Carmilla shook her head, keeping a straight face.  
"You have to be. Laura's dead." Kenzie was starting to think Carm may need a doctor. Maybe a hypnotist. Or a straight jacket.  
"She's not." Laura finally spoke up. It was time.  
Her heart was pounding. Here she was, coming out for the first time to someone she didn't even know. Standing straight, she turned to reveal herself.  
"...No fucking way."  
...........  
"No fucking way."  
Laura and Carmilla had relayed the whole story to Kenzie, who listened intently with wide eyes until it was over. Luckily, she hadn't fainted when she realized that Carmilla wasn't lying. She'd even managed to only get sections of her shirt damp after downing a few glasses of water. Carmilla was impressed, and a little jealous that the only reputation being ruined was her own.  
"Yes...way. I'm back. Not dead." Laura looked from Kenzie to Carmilla, who was too amused now that Kenzie knew the truth.  
"No fucking way." Kenzie was staring at Laura's face. Not blinking. Almost like she was taking a mental image. It was creepy.  
"Again, yes way. I have arisen. Laurzarus and all that." Laura was squirming underneath Kenzie's gaze. She felt naked.  
"No fucking way."  
"Do you have anything else to say, Kenzie Spielsdorf? Or, are we gonna do some sparring?" Carmilla finally spoke up, smirking.  
Kenzie just nodded in response.  
"Spielsdorf? Like Betty Spielsdorf?" Laura frowned. How long had she really been gone? Was this the wrong universe?  
"Lieutenant Spielsdorf? Yep. They're cousins. Bad-ass is a family trait." Carmilla replied as she grabbed her bag from the living room floor, "Want to see me in action, Cupcake?"  
..........  
"Get with it, Kenz-Lo." Carmilla threw another swing in Kenzie's direction. The girl was barely blocking her. Carmilla's hand narrowly missed Kenzie's nose.  
Ever since they left the house, Kenzie had been distracted. The walk to the sparring session was just a bunch of Kenzie staring at Laura, Laura trying to avoid Kenzie's stare, and Carmilla trying to ignore them both. It was hard adjusting to walking next to Laura again, and Kenzie wasn't helping. At one point in the brief walk, Laura tapped her shoulder.  
"Is it okay if I-?" Her eyes spoke of nervousness.  
"Um, sure?" Carmilla had no idea what Laura was asking for, and she gasped once she figured it out.  
Laura slowly slipped her hand in Carmilla's, sighing deeply. Carmilla took a deep breath, hoping to normalize her heartbeat. It was silent and much more comforting the rest of the way.  
At the start of the session, Kenzie was still inattentive and slow. Carmilla was able to get a few easy blows off her before her head finally got in the game. Then it was a fair fight. Sparring was way more fun when there was an actual challenge. And Kenzie was an actual challenge. Laura sat on the sidelines watching in fear and curiosity, hoping nobody actually got hurt. When Carmilla spit blood out of her mouth after one brutal hit, she nearly ran onto the mat. But Carmilla assured her she was okay, so she just sat there.  
After 45 minutes of actual fighting, Alex arrived. Now Kenzie was a marshmallow again. It took one good blow to the gut to get her going again. With only a few minutes left to spar, Kenzie picked up the pace. Carmilla smirked, enjoying where this was going. Dodging fists and feet, she waited for the right opportunity. It came rather quickly. After one of Kenzie's punches missed, Carmilla swiped at her fast with a quick turn. As Kenzie took a mini step backwards to avoid it, Carmilla flipped backwards, connecting her foot in a swipe down Kenzie's face.  
"OKAY! TIME!" Alex called out. She'd been sitting with Laura, not aware of who this was at all, before she called time on the session. She was smiling, impressed at Carmilla's move. It wasn't the easiest move to learn. Rarely did Carmilla ever use it, wanting it to be a surprise attack.   
Kenzie groaned, standing to her feet as blood dripped from her lip, "Damn it, woman!"  
"Better luck next time, Kenz." Carmilla wiped sweat off her brow.  
"Isn't there a rule book somewhere that states 'thou student shan’t not be as brilliant as thou teacher'?" Kenzie winced as Alex pressed a kiss to her temple and a towel to her lower lip.  
"Nope. Nice try." Carmilla chuckled.  
"I'm writing that shit." Kenzie smirked, noticing Laura for the first time. She looked from the blonde to her girlfriend, "Oh, Alex. This is...uhm. Well...It's going to throw you for a loop so just-"  
"What? Is it your lover? Should I inform her that I am just as much a force to be reckoned with as Broody Chan over there?" Alex smirked playfully.  
"Hey, I wouldn't." Carm rubbed at the sweat on her stomach, "Krav Maga, that one."  
Alex smiled, impressed, "I'll keep that in mind."  
"Bad ass." Kenzie noted, trying to focus on the main point, "No, babe. That is Laura. Carmilla's Laura."  
"Carmilla's dead Laura?"  
"Yes."  
"But she's dead. I thought she was dead."  
"She was dead. Now she's not dead."  
"You're joking, Fairway!"   
"I'm not, Stevison."   
"No fucking way."  
"That's what I said!"  
"What is happening?" Laura whispered to Carmilla, who had drifted over to where Laura was as her friends went back and forth.  
Carmilla chuckled, no longer nervous about this any longer. It was already hilarious, "I have no idea, cutie. Enlightenment?"  
They had to go over the story again with Alex. Kenzie threw in her two cents any time there was an opportunity. This led to Carmilla throwing her drenched towel at her. Once they were done, Alex looked at all three girls like they were crazy.  
"This isn't a joke?" She asked.  
"No." Carmilla replied.  
"She's alive?" Alex stared at Laura, and there was that squirmy naked feeling again.  
"Yep. Like fucking Lazarus! Oh! I get it now! Laurzarus! Nice!" Kenzie fist bumped Laura, gasping as they separated, "I just touched a dead girl. Undead girl? Used to be dead girl?"  
"She's alive." It was Carmilla's turn to stare.  
"I have so many questions! Is it okay if I take a picture? For science! Holy shit! How did this happen? I can't-." Alex was buzzing in her seat. Carmilla rolled her eyes and Kenzie hung her towel over her head. Alex just kept going on and on until her face started turning red.  
"...OK. On that note, we're gonna go." Everyone was so distracted listening to Alex's word vomit that no one noticed Carmilla packing her things.  
"It was nice meeting you." Laura smiled as she rose from her seat.   
Alex finally took a breath, taking a sip of water from Kenzie's bottle, "Please, come by anytime, Laura. I'm glad you're back. For Carmilla's sake. She-"  
"Alright, now it's really time to go." Carmilla hurried for the door before anybody could say anything to embarrass her.  
"Yes, definitely. Goodbye." Laura ran after Carmilla. For a minute, she feared Carmilla had actually left her behind. But she was waiting by the entrance outside.  
"Did you enjoy it?" Carmilla asked.  
"Yes! I didn't know you were so...quick. Even as a vampire I couldn't get you to move that fast." Laura grinned.  
"Are you making fun of me, Hollis?" Carmilla cocked an eyebrow playfully, taking a step forward.  
Laura blushed, looking away. There was no way she was ready for anymore Carmilla looks today.   
Carmilla chuckled, victorious, "Are you ready?"  
Laura nodded, afraid to open her mouth. She was sure her voice was at least an octave higher.   
Carmilla offered her hand. Walking hand in hand felt too good to not do again. She missed Laura's hand in her own. Any opportunity to feel it again, she'd take. Laura wove their fingers together as their walk back to Carmilla's apartment continued.  
"TV and take out?" Laura suggested.  
Carmilla's heart lit up at the idea. So much of what they used to be was coming to the present. She couldn't be happier.  
"Cupcake, I think I'll keep you around."


	10. 9

They'd been on the couch watching a movie for the past hour and a half. Carmilla was actually paying attention to it for brief periods. A bunch of talking groceries would hardly be entertaining, but these groceries used language that was right up her alley. The ending scene was almost too much to watch. Laura looked intrigued at the entire thing, while Carmilla found interest in the content of her water bottle. There was far too much sexual tension in the room for this.  
The credits flashed across the screen, much to Carmilla's relief. It would be a long time before she could look at a taco the same.  
"Do you want to watch another movie?" Laura reached for the remote on the table.  
.....  
"I want to see Mattie."  
Carmilla kept it to herself for several hours. At first, she wasn't sure if she actually wanted to see her sister after all of this. Everything that she was still finding out put her at a crossroad. But, if she didn't see Mattie, she wasn't sure if some of it would make sense.  
Laura was dreading Carmilla requesting this. She's hoped she would have time to prepare herself. Two years away didn't make Laura forget Carmilla. It couldn't make her forget how Carmilla was, and she could never forget how Carmilla got when she was angry. And Laura knew she was angry. Mattie was just as bad. Those two together could bring a building down.  
"Do you think it's a good idea?" She pulled a knee up to her chest. "You two probably need some time to get a grip on your emotions. I know Mattie probably should. And you-"  
"She's had two years to get a grip on her emotions, cutie. Why she would even have emotions is beyond me. She didn't lose everything. I did." Carmilla frowned to herself. She didn't mean to include that last bit, it just sort of came out. It was easy to express these feelings to Laura, too easy. Some things still didn't change.  
Laura couldn't ignore it. She did choose not to speak on it for now. There was more on Carmilla's mind than her slip up. "I just don't want to see you and your sister fight after everything."  
"That's not my intention, Laura. I really want to see her." Carmilla promised. She thought she'd lost Mattie once already. She was still her sister. Carmilla missed her too.  
Laura sighed, deciding it better to succumb to Carmilla's request rather than fight it. "Okay..."  
............  
"Are you sure you want to do this?"  
Carmilla chuckled. "It's a little too late to turn back now that you've dragged me all the way out here."  
Carmilla had insisted on driving and having Laura give her directions, but she quickly realized that Laura yelling over the roar of her motorcycle- or even trying to use GPS while driving- would prove difficult. So, they came up with another idea. An idea that Carmilla only had partial disagreement too.  
It was weird riding passenger on her own motorcycle, though she didn't mind the driver. Laura on her bike, wind blowing what was sticking out of the helmet, and her actually driving it like a bad ass was extremely impressive. And hot. Carmilla was almost afraid for her safety as she clung to the waist of the blonde...Because she was slightly afraid of course.  
The ride to the outskirts and into the forest wasn't long; so, Carmilla took pleasure in as much as she could. They parked her bike by a tree close to the large house and walked up the pathway to the front door. It felt like something straight out of the Twilight series, this house. Carmilla had to scoff at it.  
Mattie did have a secret obsession with that book. And Esme...  
Laura produced a key dangling around her neck, bending to the lock rather than removing the key. The door opened and they stepped inside. Carmilla smirked as she took in the place from where she stood. Mattie definitely lived here. It was more modern, but still Mattie.  
She followed Laura into the large, brightly lit living room. Everything was white. The carpet. The furniture. The walls. Even the paintings were based in eggshell.  
Yup. Modern.  
She didn't realize that she'd been left in the room alone until she heard footsteps and heels clicking behind her.  
"What do you want, child? Dragging me down here for another of your stupid little board games? I told you, I am not interested in watching you cry at a loss to Monopoly again, no matter how entertaining." Mattie drawled.  
"That's the last time I let you buy Buenos Aries." Laura growled, still upset at the memory.  
"You play to win, Hollis, not to be cheap. Cheap, unlike my time and you're wasting it."  
Carmilla smirked, shaking her head at the banter making its way down the stairs. It was definitely Mattie. She'd spent plenty of years attempting to beat Mattie in any game involving finances, business, and flexibility. All to no avail. Mattie was too good. Except at Scrabble apparently. Only one person could beat her there.  
"It's worth it." Laura re-entered the living room, watching Carmilla's back as she glanced out the window into the trees with her thoughts. She turned back to Mattie, waiting for her reaction. But there wasn't one. She just looked at the figure with bored eyes. This was not the reaction Laura was looking for. "Well?"  
Mattie looked to Laura, back to the window, and back again. "I'll give it to you, little one, you get creative when you're bored. But I think you've hit rock bottom. I will not waste my time playing with a doll."  
"You'll just spend another two years losing Scrabble to a cupcake?" Carmilla finally spoke up, humored at her sister's ignorance.  
Mattie's face contorted to shock, relief, sadness, and pain almost simultaneously before it was quickly contained. "Carmilla?"  
Turning, looking at her sister for the first time in what felt like forever, Carmilla grinned. Shoving her hands in her pockets. "Were you expecting Cleopatra?"  
"She is more classy company." Mattie fought to keep her voice from shaking. But Carmilla saw through it. They spent too many years, too many centuries, together. Carmilla knew her.  
Silence fell as the two just watched each other with reddening eyes. They didn't need to hug, cry, do those human, emotional, reconnecting actions that were expected of them. They just needed to know that each other was okay. So, they looked. They just looked.  
"You cut your hair. After 300 years, you cut your hair. Why?" Mattie spoke softly.  
"I needed a change." Carmilla shrugged, uncomfortable.  
"Mmhm. Why is that?" Mattie leaned against the bright-colored couch. "Do be honest."  
Carmilla sighed, addressing the reason for her discomfort. "I didn't want the reminder that she'd touched it."  
Mattie nodded, smiling. Knowing. Carmilla wasn't that hard to figure out if you took the time. That probably explained why only two people to walk this earth knew her best. She also knew that her sister didn't come all this way just to see her face. Carmilla was to stubborn and hot-headed to ever just come by after so long just to reconnect.  
"I kept her safe." She sighed, taking a seat with a cross of her legs.  
"You let me spend two years thinking she was dead. What were you protecting her from?" Carmilla scoffed.  
"Oh, please, Carmilla." Mattie rolled her eyes. "She had a funeral. A burial. No heartbeat. Where in this world is a human buried and comes back?"  
"Uma Thurman?" Laura tried to lighten the mood. It was a valid point. Uma Thurman could not be tamed.  
Carmilla smirked, but there was no humor. "Cupcake, can you give us a moment alone, please?"  
Nodding, Laura made her way upstairs. Only when Carmilla was sure Laura was gone did she respond.  
"This is Silas, Mattie! Weirder things have happened! I know! I've fought in it!"  
"And what would you have done if you saw her walking the streets after watching her die? What would you have thought?"  
"'Thank the gods! The girl I love is alive! That stupid riddle worked!' "Carmilla yelled. "Did you think you were protecting her from me?"  
"Maybe I protected you from yourself!"  
"You can't even hear how stupid that sounds! You could've told me the second you pulled her from the ground that she was alive!"  
"And what would you have done if I did?"  
"Lived, Mattie! I would've lived!"  
Neither sister realized that they were face to face until Mattie's gasp caused stray strands to flutter. Eye to eye, shock to simmering anger, there they stood. For the first time in a long time, one of the longest times they'd been apart, Mattie and Carmilla truly saw each other.  
"I didn't know." Mattie whispered.  
"Thank you for keeping her safe." Carmilla shook her head, not wanting to discuss her prior mistakes.  
"Carmilla, what have you been doing all this time?" Mattie could see the fear behind the anger. She chose to ignore it. She needed to know.  
"I survived. You'd know that if you ever tried to let me know that you were alive. I missed you too, you know." Carmilla began to drift towards the front door.  
"You know I love to make an entrance." Mattie gave her signature smile. That never changing smile. That smile got her out of many a situation.  
"You're two years too late, Mattie. I needed you...Look, maybe we can get past this one day. Maybe. If you come around for once. "Carmilla nodded. Offering forgiveness was all she had, and something she needed. "Talk to Laura if you need an address."  
And she disappeared out the door. Refusing to let Carmilla get away from her again, Mattie followed. She didn't need an address.  
...........  
"AHHHHHH!"  
"I told you it wasn't the same as super-speed! You don't listen!" Carmilla cackled as she flew back towards town. Her bike roared with excitement as she slowly increased pressure, making herself go faster. It was mostly just to be a tease than anything else. She was enjoying this.  
"AHHHHHH!"  
"Hey, at least you aren't in the sidecar!" Laura yelled from lower down, heart beating out of her chest. (Too soon?) Every curve Carmilla takes, Laura can see how far she'd fall if the sidecar decided to let go. What was a sidecar doing in the garage anyway?  
"AHHHHHH!"  
Mattie was really regretting her decision, instead of allowing her sister to ride away and give her a chance to wind down, Mattie chased after Carmilla and lodged herself to the back of the motorcycle. She shoved Carmilla's helmet on her head and refused to move until Carmilla agreed to take her along. Even then, she gave verbal commands to Laura to push the sidecar out from deep in the garage. She rode once in a parade in Spain, though she'd never tell Laura that. It was much slower than this death drive Carmilla had her on.  
When Carmilla finally parked her bike and hopped off, Mattie could've kissed the ground. Her legs felt like jelly as she made her descent. Yanking the helmet off her head, Mattie fixed at her clothes to compose herself. Carmilla quirked an eyebrow at her sister with a wicked grin, loving Mattie not in her element for once.  
"I think I'll call an Uber next time, thank you very much." Mattie, rolling her eyes at Carmilla's obvious enjoyment, shoved the helmet into her gut. The huff at the impact made her chuckle.  
She turned her attention to the building in front of her. Brick. She had to pick brick! Then again, this was Carmilla and she was alone. Of course, it'd be this...and brick.  
"No neighbors?"  
"Nope. Just the patrons of the coffee house." Carmilla pointed further down. Nobody lived near her, not for a few blocks. It was just her, Kenzie's free sparring, a coffee house, and a few random, small town businesses. It was quiet. She liked quiet. "And, yes. It's-"  
"Brick! You'd think I'd have rubbed off on you after more than a century!" Mattie scoffed.  
"Well, you failed. I'm my own person and I like brick." Carmilla helped Laura out of the sidecar and led both inside.  
If the brick wasn't bad enough, Mattie hated the living room furniture. The couch. The walls. The rug. She hated the color of it all. Carmilla could only laugh. Same old Mattie.  
It took a good 20 minutes for her to finally stop complaining. They actually managed to have a decent conversation then. They agreed to begin a rekindling of their relationship. Things would work.  
Mattie really did call that Uber. Carmilla was half-tempted to take her sister on the motorcycle again but let her have a break. For now.  
"So, I will actually see you around this time, right?" Carmilla quipped, walking her sister to the door when her ride arrived. "You're not going to go popping off on me again, are you?"  
"Well, I'm a busy woman. Now that I'm done babysitting, I have time to visit my own offices like a real businesswoman." Mattie gave Laura a pointed look and a smile. Teasing Laura had become one of her favorite hobbies. She saw the appeal it had on her sister. She'd miss it. "But I'm sure I can open my schedule for a quick lunch every now and again...when I visit..."  
"What? You're leaving?" Laura frowned, not expecting this reunion to be over before it truly started.  
"Yes, darling. You no longer require my assistance' and, there's work to be done." Mattie looked from Carmilla to Laura, the difference in reaction was drastic. Carmilla didn't seem phased. She knew Mattie. Mattie was stir crazy. "And places to see."  
Carmilla nodded, chuckling. She understood. There was a time when they had the same idea, to travel aimlessly. To drink until their bodies could take no more. To dance in the light of the moon in search of a lucky third party for each to spend a night of comfort.  
But they grew up. Mattie became more about business, enjoying the remnants of the old times whenever opportune. Mostly when she and Carmilla managed to get away with it once they spent several years away from their mother. And Carmilla, after suffering the loss of Ell, centuries in her coffin, and years of living that life- majority of it alone- met Laura. Neither was the same as they were in their youth.  
Mattie placed a gentle kiss to Carmilla's cheek, a palm resting on the other. "See you around, sis."  
"See you, Mattie." Carmilla smiled as Mattie stepped out to greet her driver.  
"And, Mircalla," Mattie paused once more, halfway in the backseat. "You're welcome."  
Carmilla rolled her eyes and shut the door as the car drove away. She would miss Mattie after so long, but it wasn't the longest time she'd gone without her. She'd be okay. This century had cell phones. Mattie wasn't really gone.  
Laura was still standing in the open space in front of the living room, her eyes were on the floor, hands wringing one another. Carmilla couldn't help but see it as anything short of adorable.  
"She's gone...she really left. Holy Hufflepuff, I'm homeless! Where am I gonna sleep? I'll have to find a job and start off on the streets! -"  
"Laura." Carmilla fought back her fit of laughter.  
"What if I can't find a job? What if I can't eat? My clothes-"  
"Laura?"  
"- I'll have to steal food and go to jail! What if there's no cookies in jail? -"  
"Laura!" Carmilla finally got her attention, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking as she laughed at Laura's rambling.  
"What?" Laura pouted, which only made Carmilla laugh harder.  
"Cupcake," Carmilla calmed herself before continuing, "It's called a spare bedroom."  
Laura frowned. "I don't understand."  
"I have one."  
The light bulb going on in Laura's head was almost visible.  
"Are you asking me to move in with you?"  
"Do you want to?"  
"...."


	11. 10

Carmilla didn't think this would be so hard. She was wrong. It was way more than she was prepared for. Good thing she had a car.  
Laura had so many boxes. For someone who was supposed to be dead, she did a lot of shopping. Most of her things were marked as clothes, stuffed animals, and, cosplay. A box stuffed with fluffy animals was heavier than it looked. Yeah, Carmilla was pretty strong and had lifted heavier than what was probably 30 over-packed fluffy, cotton-tailed bunnies, but this was giving her an intense workout when she only opted for moderate. Now her living room was full of Laura's everything, leaving the big house in the woods vacant for the new buyers.  
It took way more trips to retrieve Laura's belongings than Carmilla was willing to take, but she did it anyways. Mattie had said 'you're welcome'. She gave Carmilla the chance to start with Laura where they left off. Where they should've been. Hopefully she wouldn't ruin it. Right now, she didn't have the energy to potentially ruin anything. All she had the energy to do was lay on her couch and watch more of that show with the 100 saps that were dumped back to an obliterated earth. Laura was really introducing her to some interesting- and gay- things. Though she'd never admit that.  
After bringing in the last of Laura's crap inside...  
SWEET LITTLE BABY IN A WORLD FULL OF PAIN   
"Ah!" Carmilla plopped down on her couch, laying flat on her stomach as she pulled her phone from her back pocket. "What is it, Ginger 2?"  
"Why am I Ginger 2?" Laf's face appeared on her screen.  
"Because Perry cries if she's not Ginger 1." Carmilla drawled.   
She wasn't lying. If she wanted to get to Perry, all she had to do was knock her down to Ginger 2. The fun was always short lived though. Carmilla couldn't take Perry's tearful rants about why she deserved the higher position. That Carmilla liked Lafontaine best; and, in those moments, Perry wasn't wrong. Carmilla preferred Laf over Perry every time a rant began. At least they didn't cry.  
"So, my wife sheds a couple tears and you just give in?" They smirked.  
"Upset I'm doing your job, Lafodil?" Carmilla leaned against her elbow, wiggling an eyebrow as the smirk disappeared from Laf's face.  
"Anyways. I was wondering if we could discuss your free sparring, finally see if you carried some of that vampire strength with you into mortality- a little badassery. I could run a few tests..."  
"Lafontaine, you are not turning me into an experiment! Keep that laser eye to yourself." Carmilla growled, Laf throwing their hands up in surrender.  
"Fine. Have it your way." Laf blew a strand of hair out of their face, suddenly interested in Carmilla's background. "What's with the boxes, Karnstein? Going somewhere?"  
Carmilla internally kicked herself. She didn't think to angle herself away from the boxes. She was too busy being tired. Damned fluffy bunnies.  
"Uh...no. Someone's moving in." She replied.  
"You're letting someone move in with you? You don't like people. Who is this girl? It is a girl, isn't it?" Laf started peering around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious new roommate. But Carmilla had positioned her arm to keep them oblivious.  
"Uh..."  
"Is that Laf?" Laura entered from placing more of her things into the spare room, her room. She was coming for more boxes when she heard that familiar voice.  
Carmilla leaned back to look at her, wanting to throw a pillow at her for entering now at this exact moment. Leave it to Laura to have such good timing.  
Laf frowned, confused. They'd heard their name, but hardly captured the voice that said it. "Is that her? She knows about me? Rude, Karnstein! You didn't tell me!"  
Carmilla put her phone on mute, addressing Laura with worried eyes. "Do you want to do this?"  
Laura's eyes beamed, nodding vigorously. A smile spread across her face. Out of everyone to know that she was alive, Laura was sure Lafontaine would be the most excited. The least to cry. They'd embrace her like she never left.  
"Hello? Did you put me on mute again?" Laf called out, poking the screen.  
Carmilla turned her camera off. "Alright, Cutie. Come on."  
With a squeal, Laura jumped onto the couch, right on Carmilla's back. The brunette couldn't not laugh at Laura's childishness. It was adorable.  
"Did you get a comfy spot?" She scoffed.  
"Yes!" Laura flung about, a series of excited gestures at the phone screen as Laf kept calling out for attention. "Press the button!"  
Carmilla rolled her eyes, turning her focus back to her phone, giving Laf sound and sight once again. Laura wasn't nervous, but Carmilla was. She shouldn't be surprised. Laura was a lot stronger than she looked. A lot braver. She'd probably dreamed of reuniting with her closest friends more than anything. Laura wouldn't let the opportunity cause her any worry. Not like it did with Carmilla. Not like it would with her father.  
"Thank you for blessing me with your presence, Fang-less!" Laf flicked off their friend.  
"Fuck off. Do you want to see her or not?" Carmilla rolled her eyes again.  
"Yes. It's about time, don't you think?" Laf sighed, glad to annoy Carmilla whenever able.  
"Laf," Carmilla analyzed her friend with wary eyes. "You may want to brace yourself."  
"Why? Is she hot?" Laf wiggled their eyebrows.  
Rather than say any more, Carmilla turned the camera back to its original position as Laura leaned down to join the frame.  
"Hey, Laf."  
"Laura?"  
Carmilla expected silence. She expected Lafontaine to just gawk at the screen until they had enough consciousness to hit the end button. She expected them to think this was a trick. A joke. The worst joke of its kind.  
Did that happen? No. What did happen? Screaming. A lot of screaming. Lafontaine started screaming. And then Laura started screaming. Carmilla smothered her face in a pillow, groaning as bells rang out in her ears. At least the mad scientist wasn't, well, mad. It would've broken Laura's heart.  
"I knew it! No way you would just die like that! Kirsch owes me 20 bucks!" They pumped a fist in the air triumphantly. Suddenly, they gasped, standing to their feet. "I totally just called you 'hot'..."  
"Yeah, um, that wasn't the most-"  
"Holy shit, Perry!"  
The screen shook as Lafontaine disappeared, screaming for Perry to come quick. Now, all that could be seen was the living room floor and a side view of the couch.  
"Hey, pick up your laptop, Speed Racer!" Carmilla yelled, rolling her eyes with a sigh. She glanced back at Laura. "See what you do, Cupcake? They're probably going to need a new screen again."   
Laura chuckled, her head buried in the back of Carmilla's neck, blonde hair mixing with black. Carmilla smirked to herself. These were the moments she'd always wanted with Laura- laughter and peace. Moments she missed. You really can miss something you never had. She was living proof.  
Lafontaine came scurrying back, repositioning the laptop on their lap.  
"Look at this, Perr! You're going to freak!" They were beaming.  
"What is it this time, Lafontaine? I must finish cleaning the-. Ah-" Perry's finger stabbed the air in Laura's direction as any thought she may have had about cleaning whatever forgot how to make its way out.  
"Hey, Perry!" Laura waved at her friend, not surprised at the reaction. Could she expect any less? Not really. This was Perry. After everything she'd been through it was probably a miracle that she would even talk to Laura.   
"I-Is this a joke?" Perry turned to glare at her partner. "Because this isn't funny!"  
"No! Perry, no! It's not a joke at all. I'm alive!" Laura chimed in.  
"It's true! Listen..." Laf interceded.  
Laura and Carmilla didn't need to explain what happened to Laura. Lafontaine gave their own run down of what happened. It was almost like they'd been involved. Like they pulled Laura out of the coffin. They couldn't explain who get Laura out, Laura chimed in to assist. But they knew it possible that the spell worked. If Carmilla's mother was any indication, the gods played with their rules whenever they saw fit.  
"The only thing I don't understand is what took you two years to find us." Laf took a swig from a nearby water bottle. Scientific reasoning takes a lot out of a person.  
"She thought we were gone." Carmilla spoke up.  
"Who would tell her that?" Laf frowned.  
"Well..." Now it was Carmilla's turn to explain. She told the Ginger Twins about Mattie and all she'd done to keep Laura safe and hidden. How she gave up immortality. Laura pitched in every so often to include a few minor details.  
"Oh, my goodness..." Perry seemed to have been in a daze since any explanations began. She looked so heartbroken.  
"It's okay, Perry. You don't have to be sad. I’m ali-"  
"Two missed birthdays." Perry sighed.  
Laura laughed, missing her friends' personalities probably half as much as they missed hers. "You can bake me a cake to make up for it if you want. We can share it."  
"Oh, Laura!" Perry buried her face in her hands.  
"What?" Laura was starting to get worried.  
"Frosh, she can't." Laf pulled Perry into their chest. "We moved to the states after our company took off."  
Perry sobbed quietly as Laf attempted to comfort her. Carmilla peered from the screen to Laura's face. Both were sad sights to see. She didn't know what to do. With Laura on her back, she couldn't do much physically; and, with Perry crying, she couldn't say much.  
"Come on, Ginger 1. I'm gonna hurl." She offered a smile that Perry couldn't see.  
"Yeah, Perr. I'm not upset that you left. Don't cry." Laura's voice was so pleading, so childlike.  
Perry lifted her head to face the screen. Her eyes were red, cheeks burning as tears continued to flow. As she tried to speak, the sobs broke up her words.  
"B-but I wa-want to hug you!"  
Carmilla's face contorted in pain. All this emotion was making her sick. She turned to look at Laur and had to do a double take. Laura was pouting. Her large, brown eyes glistening as her own tears began to pour over. Carmilla groaned burying her face in the pillow again. Now, she really had to do something fast. Sitting up with a grunt, she pulled the first thought that came to mind and placed it on the table.  
"Why don't you just bake Laura a cake and ship it here so you can watch her enjoy it? Whatever it takes for you two to stop crying!"  
"Yeah. A little ASMR action!" Laf poked at Perry's side, getting a tiny laugh out of it. They took it.  
"Well...I suppose I could come up with a little something special." Perry wiped at her eyes.  
"Yeah!" Laura snatched Carmilla's phone from her hands, bouncing excitedly as her own sadness washed away. "You could bake a cake or brownies! Oh! Cupcakes!"  
"That's cannibalism." Carmilla quipped.  
"Oh my! I have to get started! Come on, Lafontaine!" Perry dashed out of frame.  
Laf looked off in aggravation, frowning at Carmilla's laughter. Laura brought the phone back down to include Carmilla in the frame.  
"You married her, Bill Nye." Carmilla shrugged.  
"You're married?" Laura shrieked.  
"Yup. Small wedding. Long story-"  
"Laf! Come help me with the first batch!" Perry's shrill call made Carmilla laugh harder.  
"Thanks a lot, Karnstein. Now I gotta bake!" The call ended abruptly.  
Carmilla took the phone from Laura's hand and placed it on the table. She was glad the call went well, aside from Perry's crying. It was okay, though. Laura had her friends back.  
"They got married. Wow. I always thought it would be us." Laura admitted. It wasn't exactly a wild thought. They did just skip sharing a dresser to full on U-Haul.  
Carmilla cocked an eyebrow, hiding her surprise, not admitting she'd thought it too.  
"Yeah. What a marriage that would be. Me. You. And your horde of cottontails."  
Laura blushed, shoving at Carmilla's shoulders, trying not to focus on how hard and smooth they felt; how her hands wanted to press into them, her thumbs massaging.  
Carmilla's mocking humor shifted to dangerous seduction. "I'm sure you'll enjoy when we consummate it."  
Suddenly, she feels a pillow connect with the back of her head. She cackled, rolling over, sending Laura against the back of the couch. The blonde swung again, repositioning herself with both knees on either side of Carmilla's waist.  
Carmilla tried to grab at Laura's arms as the pillow continued to connect. Eventually, she caught her, flipping Laura over and tossing the pillow across the room.  
"I win." She boasted.  
Laura didn't seem to hear her. Her eyes were low, teeth pressed tight against her bottom lip as she leans up towards Carmilla. Carmilla who can't move. Carmilla who can't breathe. Carmilla who still has Laura's wrists in her hands.  
"Laura..."  
"Sshh."  
"Please..."  
"Please."  
Willing herself to move, Carmilla released Laura only to have Laura clutch her face in her hands.  
"I don't know if I can do this." Carmilla's voice was shaking.  
"Why?" Laura asked, curious. "Do you want me to stop?"  
Carmilla couldn't answer her. She could only stare. Find air to breathe. Wanting to. Afraid to. Would Laura be foreign to her now? Would she taste the same? Would she still like kissing Carmilla like she did before? Would things have changed that much?  
Laura, taking Carmilla's silence for an answer, released her with a nod. "I'll stop, Carm. I'm so-"  
"No."  
"What?"  
"Don't stop." Carmilla whispered. "Please."


	12. 11

Carmilla sighed as she lay in her bed. She was so close to Laura's lips earlier. They'd come so close. Another opportunity ruined by nerves and fear. It was starting to get frustrating. How would they work past things if they couldn't even kiss? Kind of hard to win the game when you can't hit hard enough to reach first base.  
"I think we should probably finish unpacking before we forget that anything other than this couch exists." Laura gently removed herself from Carmilla, grabbing a box and shuffling off to her room.  
Laura was afraid. If something had changed, would she really want to know? What if she didn't taste the same? Carmilla wasn't a vampire anymore. What if she wouldn't like kissing Laura now; when she couldn't hear her heart, feel her blood rush, feel her pulse building? What if she didn't enjoy it? She'd had plenty of time to change her mind. She thought Laura was dead. So, Laura opted to throw herself into her move, pushing herself so hard that she was showered and sound asleep before Carmilla could throw the dinner dishes in the dishwasher. Now she was drifting off with the thought of syncing with together again vivid in mind.  
.......  
Carmilla began to stir awake at the sound of Laura whimpering. She tried to drown it out, but it was never ending. It was close. Pained. Edging out of bed, she crept across the hall to Laura's bedroom to see her writhing in her bed, a night light dancing nearby illuminating the gold flecks in her hair. Carmilla watched, worried. Laura was having a nightmare, a bad enough one that whatever her subconscious was trying to mumble was contorted to-  
"Carm."  
Carmilla's eyes grew. For a moment, she thought Laura was awake; but the continued distress said otherwise. Laura just needed her. So, Carmilla sat on the bed, careful not to shake it, and lay flat on her back; and she did the only thing she could think to do.  
No more talk of darkness  
Forget these wide-eyed fears  
I'm here, nothing can harm you  
My words will warm and calm you  
Let me be your freedom  
Let daylight dry your tears  
I'm here with you, beside you  
To guard you and to guide you  
Say you love me every waking moment  
Turn my head with talk of summertime  
Say you need me with you now and always  
Promise me that all you say is true  
That's all I ask of you  
Laura's body began to loosen as her arms wrapped tightly around Carmilla's waist, her head against her chest. Carmilla sighed, glad Laura was starting to relax. It was fearful to see her so scared and powerless. Carmilla knew the feeling all too well.  
Let me be your shelter  
Let me be your light  
You're safe, No one will find you  
Your fears are far behind you  
All I want is freedom  
A world with no more night  
And you, always beside me, to hold me and to hide me  
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
Let me lead you from your solitude  
Say you need me with you here, beside you  
Anywhere you go, let me go too  
Laura, that's all I ask of you  
"I've always loved that song." Laura murmured against Carmilla's neck, her breathe making Carmilla's body tingle.  
"I know." Carmilla smirked softly. "I remember."

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime  
Say the word and I will follow you  
Share each day with me  
Each night, each morning  
"Say you love me." Laura smiled. This was her favorite part.  
You know I do  
Love me- that's all I ask of you  
If this moment could last longer than it needed- if it were for more, as deep as it was meant for- Carmilla wouldn't have been able to savor it enough. It was times like this that she remembered the first time she knew Laura was supposed to be hers. Moments like this when she knew she could never forget.  
Anywhere you go let me go too  
Love me- that's all I ask of you  
Silence fell in the room. Carmilla could hear the wind blowing gently against the building. Crickets were chirping. A dog was barking somewhere down the street. And it seemed like Laura was finally at peace; so, she decided it was time to return to her own room.  
"Can you stay?" Laura squirmed around to get a better look at Carm, arms still coiled around her.  
"Are you really that scared?" Carmilla gave Laura a look. This worried her. Never had she seen Laura like this. Not since the first time they met.   
"Please?" Laura's eyes were so soft. So, needing.  
Not able to say no, not wanting to, Carmilla nodded. She made herself comfortable and opened her arms for Laura to jump back in. Once they were settled, Carmilla listened until she heard Laura's gentle snoring. Sighing, she let herself drift away.  
............  
The sun was warm against her back and she drank her morning tea and scrolled through Twitter on her phone. This was the most rejuvenated she'd felt in a long time. So much so that she was out of bed by 10 instead of noon. It wasn't often she was able to enjoy the quiet mornings and the sunlight on her skin without the sound of the lunch rush. Laura's presence was already working wonders.  
As soon as she started thinking of the tiny girl, she came shuffling around the corner with ruffled hair and sleepy eyes. But she looked content. Her smile was small, but bright. Her eyes were glossy. Her face was flushed. Was there an emotion for this?  
"Morning, Cupcake." Carm gave her a nod over her mug. An eyebrow arched in humor.  
"Good morning." Laura took a seat across from Carmilla, staring at her with heart eyes.  
"Well, someone had a good night." Carmilla chuckled, standing to grab Laura some breakfast from the stove. Yes, she- Carmilla Karnstein- made breakfast. "Better be careful, cutie. You may try to kiss me again and then it won't happen again, and nobody wants that."  
Laura blushed, sliding down in her chair in embarrassment. "That is starting to be habit forming."  
"What? Teasing me? Might want to break that habit. It may have been 2 years, but I still don't have much self-control, Hollis." Carmilla snickered as she placed the plate in front of Laura.  
"You still-? I-. You-. But-"  
"Is there a question coming?"  
Laura grabbed the toast off her plate and stuck it in her mouth. She didn't have many feet left to stick in her mouth, and- if she opened it- this would be more embarrassment than she wanted today.  
And boy was she wrong.  
That entire day was full of Carmilla making up for 2 years of not seeing Laura blush or making her angry just to comment on how cute it was or reminding her of embarrassing moments. It was only when Carmilla went out that night to get dinner that Laura finally got a break. And that break was short lived when Carmilla called to ask her what she wanted and proceeded to make conversation with the worker ABOUT LAURA. Even when Carmilla came home and they ate dinner she wouldn't stop. It was only when Carmilla went to bed that Laura seemed to catch a break.  
But, Carmilla didn't.  
She was as she was making herself comfortable that she felt the bed moving behind her. She turned to see Laura positioning herself.  
"Um...Cupcake? Did you get lost? Your bed is that way." Carm hitched a finger towards the bedroom door.  
"I know but I-. Well you see-"  
"Hold it. Let's just remove the bullet while you're ahead of the gun, cutie." Carmilla smirked, letting her hair loose from the band around it. "From now on, you'll sleep with me. Deal?"  
Laura was stunned, but able to nod a response. "Deal."  
Content, Carmilla began to stand and turn off the light.  
"Carm?" Laura placed a hand on her shoulder.  
"There's a night light, creampuff. I swear." Carmilla snickered.  
A hand caressed her face as Laura crawled closer. Carmilla forgot how to breathe. Laura too. Forgot how to move. Laura couldn't stop her body from it. She closed the distance between them.  
"Don't move." Laura whispered.  
Don't worry.  
"Laura." Carmilla gasped.  
"What?"  
"Shut up."  
Their lips connected and any sign of Carmilla regaining control of her body disappeared. She was frozen. And she liked it that way. Maybe if she didn't move the moment would never end. It was perfect. It was everything she remembered and more. It was longing. Hope. Strength. Satisfaction. Love.  
Laura separated, locking eyes with Carmilla. The explosion in her eyes was evident as the smile on her face grew larger.  
"Goodnight, Carm." Laura lay facing away, sure the smile on her face would never go away.  
"Goodnight, Laura." Carmilla leaned against the head of the bed in awe of what just happened.  
And she didn't dream of anything that wasn't Laura.


	13. 12

"Ah!"  
"Ah!"  
"Ah!"  
Carmilla rolled out of bed, hitting the floor with a loud thump. She rose with the wooden bat she kept under her bed positioned to swing at whatever threat had dared come near her home.  
"What is it, Laura?" Her eyes darted around the room, searching for the danger.  
"We kissed last night..." Laura gasped.  
Carmilla's body drooped forward, the bat dangling at her side. She frowned in disappointment, "I can't swing at that."  
"We kissed last night..."  
"Yeah. We did." Carmilla played with the end of the bat, stroking the smooth structure. " You don't seem too happy about it."  
"I have to go."  
"What?"  
"I need-. I have to think. I need to go."  
"Laura-."  
Before anything else could be said, Laura dashed out of the room and out the door. The slam made Carmilla jump. The bat dropped to the floor with a clang. Laura was gone. Again. So, Carmilla could only do one thing besides drown in despair.  
She could drown in alcohol instead.  
.........  
"One more."  
"You said that 7 glasses ago." The bartender frowned down at the hunched over figure in front of her. It had been 3 hours and she'd poured more drinks for this 1 customer than anyone else. And she still had some hours to go before she could go home and forget this girl even walked in.  
"Do you want my money or not?" Carmilla threw another bill on the counter. A fresh glass was presented to her as the bartender reluctantly took the five into her hand.  
Before Carmilla could down the contents, it was gently removed from her fingers. Fingers that didn't even try to hold on as they shook in place.  
"Hey, what gives? I gave you the bill now hand over the booze." She frowned.  
"I think you've had enough." A tiny voice spoke beside her. She let herself follow the sound with hesitation.  
"Cupcake. Fancy meeting you here. Didn't take you for an alcoholic." Carmilla reached to tip her hat at the smaller girl, only to realize that she wasn't wearing one. So, she opted for a slight wave of her hand instead.  
"Come on, Carm. Let's get you home." Laura put the glass on the counter, reaching out for the brunette's hand with sad eyes.  
Carmilla shakily rose to her feet, holding on to the stool to keep from falling to the ground. "How'd you know I was here?"  
"There's no place you could go that I wouldn't find you." Laura replied.  
"Stalker."  
"Only for you. Now let's go home and sleep this off."  
Carmilla grumbled but reluctantly let the tiny human drag her out of the doors. She looked back inside with a heavy heart as her last drink was removed by the all too happy bartender.  
....  
"You're cute when you're angry, Cupcake." Carmilla snickered.  
They'd made it back to the apartment only for Carmilla to trip and fall on Laura as she tried to get the drunk mess down to rest.  
"I'm not angry. So, get off me before I bite you." Laura pouted, shoving at the heavy weight on top of her.  
"Hey, for 3 centuries biting was my job."  
"Well, maybe you didn't get the memo, but you're fired."  
"Oh, is that so?"  
"Yup." Laura was still unable to release herself from under Carm. Any other time she wouldn't mind it.  
"Then consider this my resignation."  
As gracefully as her drunken state could allow her, Carmilla repositioned herself. Straddling the tiny Laura, cupping her face between her hands. Pulling them together swiftly, lips connecting without a missed beat. Heat and passion poured through them both as the kiss deepened. Without warning, Carmilla pulled that succulent bottom lip between her teeth and pulled gently. The noise she received was thrilling. Hair raising. Intoxicating.  
"Mmm. What was that cute little noise?" She asked between kisses, refusing to let this moment disappear. She wanted to hear it again. Craved it.  
"What noise?" Laura managed to answer, albeit much too erotically than she thought she would. But she wasn't going to acknowledge the gasp that had just come out of her mouth. An octave higher than anything else she'd ever done. And she knew the only sound that was higher.  
Her hands smacked against the back of the couch as she felt Carmilla's pelvis grind against her own. Again, her bottom lip was sucked between Carmilla's teeth and that high-pitched whine emerged again. This time with an obvious thrust of her hips and a shudder.  
"That noise." Carmilla growled. She squeezed slightly at the wrists between her fingers, rubbing at them with her thumbs. "Why did you run away from me?"  
Laura's eyes rolled to the back of her head at the sound of Carmilla's voice changing. That overly hinting sexual purr that never ceased to make her body shake. Her breath catches. And her heart skips several beats.  
"I... was... afraid." She admitted. Her chest heaved as she struggled to maintain some kind of normalcy to her voice. No luck.  
"Mmhm...and now?" Carmilla looked her dead in the eye, more sober now than before. Determined to let this play out in hopes of her favor.  
"Not...afraid. Just-"  
"Horny?"  
Her head jerked forward in a nod. It had been all too long. This wasn't what she wanted when she imagined them rekindling this part of their relationship. Carmilla post drunk and both all riled up on the living room couch. But at this point she'd take what she could get.  
Her body felt lighter as Carmilla rose to her feet. A serious look on her face. A battle in her eyes.  
"Shower and get dressed. Be ready in an hour." She turned for her room.  
"Wh-what?" Laura gasped.  
"I'm gonna do this right, Cupcake. You deserve that. And later..." She kneeled down to brush a stray hair behind Laura's ear before replacing it with her hand, "I'm gonna show you just how much I missed you. May take me all night."  
She smirked, backing away.  
"One hour."  
And she was gone.  
Stupid...sexy...Carmilla


	14. 13

How many outfits lay strewn about her bedroom? Carmilla had no idea. Maybe 7? All she knew was she wanted to look her best. This was the first date either of them had been on in 2 years. More importantly, this was the first date Carmilla had been on with Laura ever! The never got the chance to create this memory; she had to make it perfect. Though, getting near drunk in the early morning before said date isn't exactly ideal.  
...Let's just throw that in the past and move on, shall we?  
Today felt like a dress day. How many times had Laura seen that? Once? Now's a good time for that to change, right? You can still be bad ass in a dress. Hell, ask Anna Kendrick, Anna Silk. Anne Hathaway. Kate Beckinsale. Sandra Bullock.  
There were so many dresses in her closet that it was hard to make a decision. Well, to Carmilla it was a lot of dresses. Ten dresses in her closet is 8 too many. At least on today it was. So many choices with such a short time span. She wanted something different. Something fresh.  
There was a light purple amid all the others, the only one that wasn't white, black, red, or more black in her assortment. She matched it with her black leather jacket, feeling much more bad ass now.  
Thank you, Kate Beckinsale.  
Should I wear make-up? Would Laura like that? Would she wear make-up?  
Oh, fuck.  
It's your first date after all. Why not?  
Uh, because I don't need to impress her with a Kylie Jenner tutorial. Laura knows who I am.  
Yes, but it has been a while...Why not make it a memorable experience?  
...You sound like a smart ass.  
I'm you, smart ass.  
Carmilla shrugged, pretending she didn't just have a mini argument with herself, and proceeded to put on the make-up anyway. Black eyeliner, mascara, and a shade of blood red lipstick. Fuck Kylie Jenner and her make-up tutorials. Finished, she stepped out of her bedroom and knocked on Laura's door.  
"Hey, Cupcake, I'm ready! I'll meet you at the front door!" She called. Not bothering to wait for an answer, she walked away. Smiling.  
Meanwhile, Laura was in her room pacing and brushing her hair. Her toothbrush was lodged in the corner of her mouth and a tank top dangled around her neck. Only her sweatpants made it normally on her body. One foot was bare while the other had a sock threatening to slip off her pinkie toe. Her outfit, pressed and ready, hung on the closet door. She just stared at it as she gnawed on the bristles of the toothbrush and brushed absentmindedly at her damp- and untangled- hair. It wasn't that hard to put on clothes; unless the girl you've been pining over for 2 years while you were supposedly pushing up daisies is taking you on a date and you feel self-conscious and full of butterflies for the first time since your not death.  
Fun...  
Before Carmilla let her know she was ready, all Laura could think about was her outfit. Was she making the right decision? Should she opt for something a bit more casual? Something less? Something more? Something with lace and trimming? Something floral? Maybe treat it like it isn't a big deal? But it is a big deal. It is and it's all she thought about. Now, after hearing Carmilla's voice- that voice that nearly faded from her memory after so long- she was finding the courage to stick to her decision, to put on her outfit. Carmilla would love whatever she decided to wear, anyway. At least she hoped she did.  
..........  
If Carmilla Karnstein was confident about anything, it was her style. Yet, here she was wondering if the dress was more not her than it was her; which wasn't possible since she bought the damn thing. One second it was too short. One second it looked too long. One second Carmilla said fuck it and gave up on it, until it happened again. It lasted until she managed to mentally convince herself that her dress looked fine. Instead of worrying, she admired herself in the mirror; and, by admired, she just stares into the reflective glass and shrugged in approval. She noticed how much her hair had grown since the last cut. It wasn't as long as it was before the first haircut, but it was pretty close. Maybe she'll leave it this time.  
It was starting to get harder to just stand there waiting. She'd already freaked out about her clothes and make up. She didn't want to move on to her hair. That's crossing the line! So, she pulled out her phone and checked her request on Twitter. There weren't many, which was upsetting more for the boredom than the profit. It's not like she had to worry about it. Over 300 years of saving has its benefits. She just wasn't going to run through it like an idiot. She learned that from Mattie.  
Carmilla was so into the requests in her phone that she didn't hear the bedroom door open down the hall; or the light clicking of heels as they approached. It wasn't until she saw movement out of the corner of her eye that she saw her.  
Got dammit...  
Sweet Dumbledore's Army...  
Neither was as prepared for the other as they thought they were. Carmilla was trying not to salivate. All those years of vampirism still manifested here. Never had it been like this. On occasion she's wanted to bite someone's head off, even drain them dry. Her teeth would ache for it. Nothing like this. It was like all her taste buds were vibrating at the sight of Laura in this pants suit. Not just a pants suit. Fitting black slacks, sophisticated blazer- with POCKETS- and a white top underneath. Her heels matched the black pants suit and gave her a few inches in height. It almost made Carmilla shudder.  
Laura was no better. The last time she'd seen Carmilla in a dress was when they were back at Silas living in the dean's apartment. That was 3 years ago. Not even that could make this better. The color popped against Carmilla's pale skin. Her legs were glowing beneath the smooth fabric. She could see Carmilla's legs! Carmilla's toned, beautiful legs. IF not for the complimentary leather jacket, she could see those toned arms. Her heart started fluttering like it was going to explode out of her chest at a second time.  
"You look beautiful, Laura." Carmilla put her phone back into her jacket pocket before her shaking fingers dropped it.  
"Thank you, Carm. You look amazing. That dress really suits you." Laura blushed, staring at her heels to avoid the brown eyes admiring her. It was weird to feel this way again: nervous underneath Carmilla's gaze.  
Carmilla took a step forward, using her index finger to lift Laura's face up to equal her own. Why do you do that; look down when I compliment you?"  
"You make me feel exposed, like every part of me is on display. Like I'm art." Laura voice was just barely a whisper.  
"Good. You're beautiful, Laura. Don't hang your head for that. The blush you can keep." She caressed her cheek with her hand, nothing but admiration in her eyes. "Art is to be cherished. It's to be valued. It's to be every it's made to be solely in the eyes of those watching it. Art means different things to different people. If I created a portrait of your eyes, someone could see sadness while another sees joy; but I see so much more. I see inside. Passion. Resolve. Patience. Curiosity. Strength. Love. Humanity. Faith. Hope...Fear. So many interesting things about you, Laura. So, you are art; to me, at least. I wouldn't say 'no' to that.  
"Now that it's established, shall we go?"  
Laura nodded, not seeing any way to respond to that. Silence. Utter silence.  
Before Carmilla could open the door, her phone rang.  
"Yes, Kenz?...  
"Now?  
"I-. I can't. I have-  
"How much?  
"...alright, fine.  
Carmilla tugged off her jacket and tossed it into the living room, sighing deeply and regretting ever putting the make-up on her face.  
"Change of plans, Cupcake. I hope you don't mind. We're going to a fight." She started backing away towards her room.  
"What? Why? Whose fight?" Laura frowned, worried. Was Kenzie okay?  
"Mine." Carmilla sighed again, disappearing into her bedroom.  
She wanted to be upset, but she couldn't. She could really see Carmilla in action, now. It wouldn't be the same as practice. The real thing. With blood and rules and an actual opponent.  
Oh, goodness. She could really get hurt.  
Carmilla emerged minutes later in a sports bra, gym shorts, and a zip up jacket. "Let's go."  
Laura didn't have time to drool over the figure of the girl dashing past her. All she could do was be pulled out of the front door.  
Oh, Hermione.


	15. 14

Laura stood in Carmilla's corner, watching her punch at the air like it was her worse enemy. Never had she seen Carmilla so focused and trained, not even when she watched her practice. This was different. This was real. This was a fight with a stranger for money. This was lethal. This spoke to Carmilla's primal instinct. This was survival...and it scared Laura to no end.  
"Carm? Are you sure about this?" Laura frowned, getting her feel of the room. The crowd was live, drunk and sober in mix. Some were cheering. Some were screaming. All of them were loud. There were men with bottles of beer waving in the air like candles. Women were using their tops as pinwheels. Some of said women had nothing underneath, giving the crowd an extra show. A few of the audience members were obviously a bunch of under-aged 16-year-olds looking for a place to avoid parental supervision. And Carmilla's opponent…yikes! She was taller and very bulky, so much so that muscles flexed without effort. A normal person would shudder in fear. Laura wouldn't blame them. She looked like she ate sawdust sprinkled nails for breakfast. Sure, Carmilla use to have O'negative every morning with her Captain Crunch; but that wouldn't give her razor-sharp teeth other than the 2 she used to have...unless they were still there, just less fang. But, this girl, every tooth could have been fang.   
"She looks hungry...for flesh."  
Carmilla stopped her shadowboxing to look dead into the eyes of her opponent, wrapping her hands nonchalantly. She turned to face Laura, unbothered. "I've eaten squirrels bigger than her."  
"You tell her, K-Dub! It's ass-kicking time! Put your hair up and square up!" Kenzie slapped Carmilla's shoulder before jumping over the ropes and back out of the ring.  
Laura could've slapped them both. She wanted to. Though her face looked more like "lost puppy" than slap happy. "How are you not scared? That woman can bench press 6 of me!"  
Carmilla took a step forward, cupping Laura's face in her hands. "I spent 2 years thinking you were 6 feet under Silas Cemetery. The only thing that scares me now is waking up in a world where you don't exist. Again."  
The bell rang and Kenzie screamed an inaudible chant from her perch on a turnbuckle.  
"See you at the violence." Carmilla put her mouthguard in, shrugged off her jacket, and turned away to face her opponent.  
The referee- if you can call her that- had the two women shake hands before backing away to wait for the second bell.  
"So, how many points does Carmilla need to win this thing?" Laura asked.  
Kenzie shook her head, keeping an eye on the other side of the ring. "She doesn't win by points. This is a bare-knuckle fight, Laura. Her aim isn't to get a certain amount of points on the board. Her goal is to leave that girl lying on the mat, unable to move. She's fighting to win- and get paid, of course."  
Laura noticed Carmilla removing the gauze from her hand and putting it back. Winding and unwinding until she flexed her hand and stood patiently. What would those hands look like after this?   
"And, if she loses?" She pondered.  
"We don't get paid! Jeez, Hollis! Are you even listening?" Kenzie nudged Laura as she bounced down from the turnbuckle to stand beside her. "If she loses, you have a bloody Karnstein to wipe down tonight. If she wins, you have a sweaty, less bloody Karnstein to wipe down tonight. So, it's a win-win for you either way."  
Laura glowered at her, blushing all at the same time. "I can, and will, smack you, Spielsdorf."  
Kenzie chuckled. "Laura, my money's on the latter. Literally. I'm her manager. Carmilla hasn't lost a fight but once. That was a long time ago, and my fault I imagine. Bad scheduling..."  
Laura couldn't think of what could cause Carmilla to lose. Not in scheduling....  
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't believe in her. Besides, do you really think she's going to let this girl kick her ass knowing you're here?"   
The second bell goes off and the clock begins. The two women start moving around in a slow circle, quietly daring the other to make a move. The crowd is silent, waiting in anticipation for someone to jump. The other girl looked intense, aggressive; like this was bred in her. She was obviously prideful, smirking demise into Carmilla's existence- a mistake, Laura thought. Pride meant possible openings for open hits.  
Her tactics didn't seem to faze Carmilla in the least. Her face was neutral, quiet. Her eyes, though, were flames, flames with no open clues of where their fire hit. And, she wasn't just circling. Carmilla was dancing. She was gliding. Flowing. She was stalking. Graceful and light. Daring. Practiced. Ready.  
The challenger lunged, throwing a punch at Carmilla's head as she flew forward. Kenzie and Laura nearly had to jump down as her body threatened to soar through the ropes as Carmilla had side-stepped and flung the girl behind her. She stood patiently in center ring, stock still. Her opponent turned back to face her. It was the first time Laura saw her name. Dana Penowski.  
Dana lunged forward again, only to be caught by Carmilla's knee and hit the ring floor. Carmilla stood idle again, anticipating Dana's next move. The crowd booed, laughed, and taunted the girl as she glared up at Carmilla's waiting form. Angered, she pushed off the ground, wrapping her arms around Carmilla's waist and pushing her into a corner. Fists flew into Carmilla's sides until white bandaged hands shove her away. Her shoulder dug repeatedly into her gut as she didn't allow room for Carmilla to breathe. All Carmilla could do was smash her elbow into Dana's back until the girl backed away. She thought it opportune to try another tackle, only to be shoved into the turnbuckle with a loud smack. Carmilla stood in center ring, angry and eager to quicken the pace. Her side was already beginning to bruise.  
Dana stumbled backwards towards Carmilla, getting a heavy connect to the jaw once she turned. She dropped to one knee, shaking her head to gain awareness. She got up with a swing that nearly knocked Carmilla off her feet. The sound of it stopped Laura's heart for a moment. Kenzie's nonstop scream of excitement and encouragement gave her hope for a victorious outcome. Carmilla could do this. She was strong. But this girl looked so much stronger, and Carmilla didn't have her giant black cat to save her.  
Now the pace was faster than ever. Punches connected. Feet were flying. Both women were dodging and blocking to avoid the blows at any turn they could. Carmilla was using her panther-like stealth and quickness against Penowski's strength and equal level of speed. There was no telling who was going to walk out of the ring or be carried out.  
Again, Dana wrapped her arms around Carmilla, this time from behind. Her hands clamped together as she constricted the brunette. Carmilla ground her teeth, closing her eyes in pain. Laura knew that if Dana got Carmilla to the ground, this was all over.  
"You can do this Carmilla! Come on!" Her voice mangled with the intense screaming of the violence enhanced onlookers. Carmilla couldn't hear her. She couldn't help. Not unless she jumped into the ring herself, which wouldn't help anything.  
Carmilla managed to elbow the bigger woman enough to be released. She then turned and copied the same maneuver just performed on herself. She struggled to keep Dana still, keeping her feet steady as best she could to little avail. She opened her eyes and glanced over to her corner, as she always did when she needed a bit of encouragement. Kenzie was being her normal self, hyper and chanting incoherent, positively violent, words of support. She was never physically heard but heard none the less. And then the face she'd never thought she'd see standing there. Laura. Laura who didn't have to do a thing but smile at Carmilla and she could do anything. Laura, who's eyes were concerned, but her face hid it well (well, well enough for anyone that didn't know her like Carmilla). Laura, who's 'I believe in you' could be heard clearly over the screams of fans and opposers watching around the room. And it was just what she needed.  
With a yell that was more of a guttural growl than anything else, Carmilla jerked her body backwards, taking the taller girl down with her.  
"Whoa! What the hell was that?" Kenzie yelled in astonishment.  
"Has she never done that before?" Laura watched the muscles ripple in Carmilla's arms.  
"Not on me, she hasn't! And I've been hit with every move in that bitch's arsenal!" Kenzie nudged Laura again. "What the hell did you do to her?"  
Carmilla, haven't had released her, rolled, and dropped her again. Once again, she stood to her feet, bent backwards, and let Dana Penowski fly; this time, letting her go, her body rolling into the corner. Carmilla stood to her feet, fighting through the pain to stand tall.  
"I gave her hope." Laura smiled to herself.  
"Are you sure it wasn't a can of whoop ass...or an orgasm?"  
Dana was staggering but got up fighting. Her hands were wild, but precise, forcing Carmilla down to a single knee. Her hands protected her organs as blow after blow rained down. It helped until an arm coiled around her neck, restricting her airway. Forcing her to the ground in a seated position, wrestling for air and freedom. Dana just started wringing her around like a rag doll, like she was nothing.  
"Hell no! Karnstein get up and kick her ass!" Kenzie was bouncing on the outside of the ring, angry and concerned. "I've never had to worry about your ass before and I'm not starting today. You got this, K-Dub. You gotta..."  
Penowski was getting too confident, sneering and using Carmilla's limp body as a taunt for the crowd. It made Laura's blood boil. But she had to have faith. She had to believe that Carmilla would get out of this.  
Dana rose to her feet, dragging Carmilla up with her, clearly believing this match was over and she was victorious. But she wasn't done yet. She took Carmilla's face in her hand and grappled her against the ropes, wanting to embarrass her as much as possible before ending it. She laughed as Carmilla bounced off the ropes, about to return.   
Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Carmilla ducked under Dana's waiting arms and into the other ropes. She bounced off, screaming as she knocked Dana to the floor with a heavy clothesline. Not waiting for the girl to get up on her own, Carmilla pulled her to her feet, throwing her into yet another set of ropes. She planned to use her feet, but Dana countered her, throwing her to the floor by twisting her body leg first. She scrambled to her feet again, stamina on high. Dana grabbed her leg again, mid kick, throwing her in a circle. AS she began to throw a punch at the back of Carmilla's head, her own snapped back as Carmilla managed to flip backwards and slam her foot straight down her giant's face, making her drop to the mat.  
"Count it!" She yelled to the referee, who had been cowering out of the way the entire match.   
Carmilla wobbled, clutching her side as she watched Dana Penwoski's body for any signs of life while the ref counted. Laura held her breath, praying to Dumbledore's ghost this woman didn't get up. She was trying, rolling over to her knees shakily, groggy. Disoriented. Laura didn't realize she was still holding her breath as the crowd erupted. As Kenzie screamed and bounced into the ring. Not until the ref and one overly excited Kenzie held Carmilla's hand up in victory while Dana still wailed around on the ring floor.  
She won. Carmilla actually won. Laura beamed as the crowd began to engulf the ring. She continued to smile as she disappeared into the mix.  
"WHOO! GIVE ME MY MONEY!" Kenzie went bobbing like a fish towards her office to get their checks signed. Carmilla looked for her date through the different faces to no avail. She shook hands, took pictures, and high fived her way to the front door.  
"You look awful." Laura commented. Carmilla's face was red. Her torso the same, bruising. Her hair was sticky and sweaty, and her taped hands were covered in Dana's blood. "Beautiful, but awful."  
"Well, Hollis, is that any way to greet your girl after she returns from battle? I expected more from my wide-eyed maiden fair." Carmilla eased her jacket on her shoulders, ignoring the slight shoulder pain. "You want to get out of here? I know a place that serves really good coffee and pastries."  
"Do they serve hot cocoa?"  
"Do they serve-?" Carmilla chuckled, reaching out her hand. "You truly are Laura Hollis."  
...........  
"OH MY- THISISSOGOOD!"  
"Cupcake, you may want to finish the cookie before you talk."


	16. 15

"Jeez, Cupcake. I forgot how ravenous you could be." Carmilla shook her head with a soft chuckle.  
They made it to the diner Carmilla had suggested and chose the most secluded table they had. There weren't many people there, but Carmilla wanted to avoid wandering eyes. Silas was still as difficult about what took place on campus as American governments are about gun laws. They chose to pretend it never existed; so, that meant that anybody that had heard of Laura's death would simply pretend it never happened. In some ways, maybe it was better that way. Now that it was over.  
Laura was already in double digits on her cookie intake and they hadn't even been sitting for half an hour yet. Carmilla didn't mind it. She chose this place because of Laura's sweet tooth- and because it was the closest place to the gym that served a decent coffee, though decent was an understatement.  
Laura swallowed the contents of her mouth and reached for another cookie, "They're just so good! I haven't had freshly made...anything in forever!"  
"Really? Mattie never tried to put her 1976 culinary degree to good use?" Carmilla grabbed a pastry and dipped it into her coffee.  
"At first, yes. It took her a bit of time to adjust to an electric stove, but she got the hang of it; though, she did comment on how she missed the smell of gas as the stove got warm. She would make these 5-star restaurant type meals and gloat that she could put Gordon Ramsey to shame with her culinary know-how..."  
"Eh. Gordon Ramsey isn't looking for any competition. He's proven himself. It's that Anne Burrell that could be knocked down a few notches," Carmilla scoffed. After catching Laura staring at her, she rolled her eyes with a smirk. "I watch the worst chef's show with Alex sometimes. Continue."  
Laura giggled, making a mental note to make a joke later. "Anyways, her food was amazing. I was doing extra yoga sessions because of how much I was eating. After a while, she got too busy to cook anymore. So, I've been living off frozen dinners, salads, and minor cooking on my part; oh, and store-bought treats, and store-bought cookies are great. I just can appreciate a nice, warm-"  
She paused as she noticed the grin on Carmilla's face and realized she'd started ranting. She just thrust another cookie in her mouth and moaned in satisfaction. A moan that made Carmilla have to get a hold of herself and pretend it didn't happen.  
"Well, this wasn't the place I'd had in mind for tonight, but I'm glad you approve. Laf and Perry would drag me here every Thursday at noon for coffee cake and a meal. They just didn't imagine I'd keep coming by myself. After they moved, I still stopped by for a slice of cake and a cup of coffee."  
"What were you originally planning?" Laura gulped and grabbed another cookie.  
Carmilla chuckled at the sight before her. "I was planning to go to dinner at one of the more popular restaurants on main street, one that's only popular to those of us in the know. I've had some of the best cuisine from that place, not to mention the dessert. Afterwards, I was going to take you to the park. It's new. I thought it would be nice to sit by the water and enjoy the quiet. Aside from the ducks.  
"THERE'S DUCKS?" Laura squealed, cookie crumbs flying in every direction.  
"I've only been there once; but, yes, there were ducks."  
They went silent for a bit as Laura continued her assault on baked goods and Carmilla ate an actual meal. It was nice to sit at a table in a public place with Laura. The way the dim light looked against her skin was almost mesmerizing. The way her eyes lit up after everything she consumed was heart-warming. It was sad to see Laura's face when it was time to leave. She looked so sad in fact that the owner gave her a few cookies to take home. They barely made it past the front door.   
It was an ugly battle.  
Now they walked back towards the house. Laura was wiping excess crumbs off her face. Carmilla was ignoring her stinging body parts, something she had been doing throughout dinner. Her fingers were throbbing, wrapped in gauze and bleeding at the knuckles. Her arms and shoulders were screaming. Her legs were on fire. None of it was worth ruining tonight over.   
"I can't remember if I told you or not- maybe it's from the many bashes to the head I've received tonight; but you look beautiful." She looked over at Laura as they waited for the crosswalk to signal them to pass. "This isn't exactly what I thought I'd look like by the end of tonight."  
"Don't be silly. I take you any way I can. Though I do prefer you less bruised and bloody." Laura smirked shyly. Allowing herself a moment of bravery, she snaked her hand into Carmilla's, entangling their fingers together. "Thank you for tonight. I enjoyed it."  
"You enjoyed watching me get my ass handed to me by Katniss 2.0?"Carmilla scoffed. "I didn't expect to be fighting tonight. Let alone her."  
"What did you expect?" Laura asked.  
Again, there was silence. Nothing but the passing of cars, the buzzing of store signs, and the occasional barking dog caught in the night wind surrounded them. Laura took advantage of it. She never thought she'd be out on the streets like this again. She never got the chance to explore Silas outside of campus. The only time she was outside of campus was when she was fleeing from it; and, that was nowhere near the direction of town. And she definitely didn't think she'd have the opportunity to be walking in Silas with Carm.  
"I missed you, Laura." She heard from beside her. "I missed the sound of your voice. I missed the touch of your skin. I missed how it felt to just be in your presence. And, when you ran away from me, I needed to realize that we had two different experiences over the past 2 years.  
"Maybe you never expected to see me again, same as me. However, knowing you- and, again, me- you didn't expect me to still want you the way we wanted each other at Silas...  
"So, I wanted to give you a night that we could have a similar experience with together." Carmilla shrugged, holding a bandaged hand up to her face. "Clearly, I failed."  
Laura stopped, taking both of Carmilla's hands in her own. "You haven't failed."  
"Laura, you watched me get my ass kicked all night. I don't find the similarities in that. Unless someone side swiped you in the crowd and you didn't tell me." Carmilla's fists clenched at the thought, causing her to wince in pain.  
"Okay, calm down, Ronda Rousey. No one touched me. It doesn't matter though. Nobody needs to touch me to feel your pain. I felt it just fine...maybe less severely." Laura smirked.  
Carmilla laughed, nudging Laura playfully.   
"Let's get you inside and all cleaned up." The blonde pulled her taller partner forward and into their home.  
Carmilla followed Laura upstairs to her bedroom and watched and she flitted around, inside and out, grabbing what she needed. There was a towel, Carmilla's robe, a bottle of something, a candle, and who knows what else.  
"Take your clothes off." Laura darted past Carmilla into the bathroom.  
"What?"   
"Take. Off. Your. Clothes." Laura called back from the bathroom.  
"Cutie, if you're planning on taking a peek, you kind of have to be in the room." Carm scoffed, not moving. In shock. Definitely in shock.  
"Just do it." Laura rolled her eyes as she continued her set up.  
"Why?" Carmilla sighed, unzipping her jacket as slowly as she could with her fingers still a bit pained.  
She could hear water running and light music playing as Laura peered out of the doorway. "Because I'm running a bath for you. Now, clothes off."  
Laura exited the bathroom and pushed Carmilla inside. "You just take your time in here. I'll finish setting up out here."  
"Laura..."  
"Relax." Laura closed the door with a soft smile.  
The bathtub had been filled with steamy water, bubbles, and what smelled like eucalyptus and coconut milk. A brown sugar scented candle sat lit on the bathroom counter. Her robe dangled on the hook, and soft music played through her Bluetooth speaker. Admiring what had just been done for her, Carmilla carefully undressed and let herself sink into the hot bath. It took a few seconds for her body to adjust to the temperature, but pretty soon she was chin deep and breathing in the scent of the bubble bath.  
Thirty minutes later, she was wrapped in her robe, standing at the bathroom door. Her body was less sore than before and her mind was relaxed. She just couldn't believe that Laura would do something so sweet. She couldn't wait to thank you.  
Her surprise didn't stop as she opened the door and found her room dimly lit by the bedside lamps and more candles, more soft music, and Laura in shorts and a tank top waiting for her with a bottle of liquid beside her on the bed.  
"What's going on?" Carmilla brought herself further into the room.  
"I thought I'd give you a massage. Come lay down." Laura pat the bed.  
"You didn't have to do this." Carmilla murmured, absolutely blown away.  
"I know. I wanted to." Laura stood to her feet, grabbing Carmilla and pulling her closer to the bed and pulling the string on the robe just enough to ensure enough exposure to the shoulders and back. "Lay down."  
Carmilla did as she was told, laying flat on her stomach across the mattress. She let herself lower the robe down enough for Laura's access. She was nervous. Her fingers were trembling. She could only imagine how much strength it was taking for Laura to go through with it.  
"I'm going to straddle you, okay? It's just to give me good distance. Is that okay?" Laura grabbed the bottle of oil, kneeling on the mattress.  
"O-okay." Carmilla stumbled.  
She felt the mattress dent as Laura climbed up and positioned herself right below the lower back. Her knees were on either side of her hips. The music in the background was intense to the senses, making her body shiver and spark alive. The bottle clicked once and then again as Laura rubbed what Carmilla now knew to be oil into her hands. As those soft fingers touched her bare shoulders, her body tensed involuntarily.  
"It's okay. It's just me." Laura moved her thumbs in a circular motion, focusing her attention on all the tight spots in Carmilla's shoulders. "You are so tensed, Carm. You needed this."  
The pain of earlier's fight began to disappear from consciousness. All she could focus on were the hands slowly moving down her body. A light trail of oil was poured in the center of her back as Laura's hands continued to work. It felt amazing, for the tension and for the two years of celibacy. Her breathing hitched as Laura's fingers stroked a more sensitive spot near her hip, causing her to grind against the bed. She internally cursed herself for the lack of control.  
It lasted for the next 15 minutes, the tortures of Laura's fingers digging into her most sensitive places, and Laura's oblivion to it all. She hopes that there would be no damp spot on her robe or her mattress by the time Laura finally let her up. She'd rather just die right there.   
As if this secret prayer had been answered, Laura dug a little too hard against her hip, and Carmilla jerked more aggressively than all the others. Both women stopped and tensed. Carmilla groaned and buried her face in the mattress.  
"Uh...Carm...I..I-I didn't mean to-I'm sorry! What can I do?"  
"No, no! I'm fine. It's okay, Laura. Really." Carmilla hurried to stop Laura's distress. Everything seemed frozen aside from the candle flames dancing as the music continued to play and get even more intense.  
Gently, something soft began to drape against her back. Before she could question it, she could feel Laura's lips pressing again and again upward against her spine. Her fingers stayed in place, caressing those places with more knowledge and awareness. Carmilla gasped again and again as, finally, those lips planted themselves against her neck. One hand removed itself and caressed her ear. She couldn't control herself anymore. The sounds came out louder and louder. Her fingers clawed against the mattress. Before she knew it, she had rolled over and pulled Laura's lips to her own. They battled for dominance and ground against one another aggressively, before, finally, they were breathing too hard to keep going.  
They sat, face to face, catching their breath, holding on to one another.  
"Do you want to do this?" Laura asked between breaths.  
"Do you?" Carmilla focused on the sound of Laura's breathing, eyes closed.  
"Yes." Laura nodded vigorously.  
Carmilla smiled, nodding. Hoping for that answer. She moved to grab Laura again, but got nothing but air as Laura moved away. She crawled back against the headboard, giving Carmilla a look as she crawled towards her.  
"Buckle up, Creampuff."  
Neither of them were ready for the ride.


	17. 16

The next morning wasn't as bright as one would've hoped after such a night. It was gray and rain pounded against the window outside. Laura stretched with a low grunt as her back popped. A hand tightened its grip on her waist, pulling her back down against the bed.  
"Carm..." She whined, pushing against the raven-haired girl with a tired giggle. One that everyone knows as the half-awake-but-still-sleepy giggle. Not even a full giggle, just a single chuckle. One that Carmilla used all the time back at Silas right before a hum and a snarky remark to something Laura said. Or anyone said.  
"No. Warm. Stay." Carmilla pouted against Laura's side, not in any mood to be removed. "It's bright out there."  
"No, it's raining and dark and gloomy out there; and, I'm naked and I want my shirt." Laura argued.  
"You're naked from the waist up. It doesn't count as a valid argument." Carmilla challenged.  
"Well, if you hadn't have fallen asleep on top of me, it would be." Laura rolled her eyes with a smirk.  
"Excuse me for getting my ass handed to me by a juiced-up Ronda Rousey."  
"It's not the first time you've done it. What's your excuse for that one?"  
"We said we would never speak of that again."  
Laura giggled softly, giving up on her shirt and just turning to hold Carmilla in her arms as the rain continued. "You'd think after two years we'd have forgotten how to do this, how to be us."  
"I don't think I could ever forget you, Laura."  
"Just sleep on me, right?"  
"Well, my hands are in a good position to-"  
"Either do it or let me." Now it was Laura's turn to challenge.  
"Mm? Morning sex is it?" Carmilla finally exposed her face to the open air, wincing slightly at the new light.  
"You left me hanging last night. I see no better way to repay you than a little bit of...revenge." In one swift motion, she pushed Carmilla over and hopped to her feet, swiping her shirt in the process.  
"Agh! You sneaky little Creampuff!"  
"Whiners don't get breakfast." Laura pulled the shirt over her head.  
"Morning seeexxxxx!" Carm drawled.  
"You know, orgasms are a lot to ask for in exchange for pancakes."  
"They're blueberry pancakes!" Carm leaned on her elbow with a grunt.  
"All the more reason to wait. Up and at 'em, cutie." With that, the tiny blonde bounced away.  
There's my Laura.  
************  
After doing a quick scour of the kitchen to find all the necessary supplies, Laura did indeed make blueberry pancakes for Carmilla, but she made chocolate chip pancakes for herself. Would anyone expect anything less? Doubtful. What Laura didn't expect was Carmilla to come down for breakfast. She hoped that, after the previous morning where Carmilla was actually awake before she was, Carmilla would come inching into the kitchen with messy hair and a groan because- even though the sun wasn't out and the rain was coming down harder- it was too bright to be out of bed at such an ungodly hour. It was 8 a.m. Which is why Laura took it upon herself to put their plates on a tray with her best drawing of a flower- because Carmilla Karnstein does not have a flower just lying around- and glasses of juice and made her way down the hall to the bedroom. She found Carmilla laying splayed out across the bed. She had to smile at how adorably Carmilla this was.  
"Alrighty." She sighed as she sat the tray down on the bedside table.  
"Morning sex?" Carmilla stretched as she sat up with a glint of sleep still in her eyes.  
"No, not yet!" Laura rolled her eyes, moving the tray to sit in front of them on the bed. "Time for breakfast."  
"You drew a flower...because I don't have any flowers?"  
"I did..."  
Carmilla smirked, pressing a kiss to Laura's cheek, taking the blonde by surprise. "You never cease to amaze me."  
"If you don't fall asleep on me next time, maybe we'll find out."  
After licking her plate clean of any leftover crumbs, Carmilla hummed in satisfaction against Laura's shoulder only to groan once she realized she had an art piece to finish for a customer before the end of the day. Laura cackled as she carried the dishes to the kitchen, listening to Carm complain about quitting her commissions if they were going to interfere with her morning sexcapades. Laura didn't respond, she just finished cleaning up from breakfast, putting a pot of water on the stove to boil. She was sure this was going to be a workday for Carmilla; surely a cup of tea could help. This would give her a chance to unpack the boxes in her room.  
Lucky for Laura she didn't have much in the way of stuff. Aside from a suitcase and duffel, her clothes took up 5 medium sized boxes. She knocked those out in 2 hours. Now there were her books and stuffed animals. One by one, the stuffed animals were placed at the head of the bed, each with a buddy. She saved her books for last so she could put them on the bookshelf in the hall and check on Carmilla. She put her Chronicles of Narnia books in the very front.  
It was still weird trying to get into a normal rhythm with Carm after everything they'd been through. Carmilla would have her frequent nightmares for a while, and the moments where Laura felt like a dream wouldn't just disappear like one. Laura's own nightmares would still be an issue. These things aside, they still had to adjust to each other again in their relationship, if that's even what this is. How could she know? Just because she'd been dead for 2 years, doesn't mean her insecurities about her and Carmilla had just melted into the dirt like droplets of rain. They hadn't exactly talked about it lately. Honestly, she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. Whatever this is that they are, it's working. Even before her death, they knew they were together without any labels. They knew who they were, and it wasn't a secret to anybody else. Did she want to know what she was to Carmilla? Did she want labels and certainties and anniversaries of days joined? Of course. What girl wouldn't?  
As she watched Carmilla's head move ever so slightly as she sat at her easel, sitting in a chair close by with some random book she pulled off the shelf, she was more sure now than ever that she definitely didn't want to be without Carmilla again. That took a label. But what if that's not something Carmilla wanted? Laura wanted to ask, but she knew she couldn't stand it if her reaction was negative. She just kept quiet and opened her book to a random page.  
'The angle of the penis through the anterior/front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-Spot while the fingers find the clitoris and the penis starts to-'  
"Nope! Nuh-uh. Not reading that." Laura slammed the book closed and eyed the cover suspiciously. "'The Science of Orgasms'...Enough said."  
"Okay, well, if you aren't gonna learn about the intrusive properties of heterosexual intercourse then come over here so I can get your features right." Carmilla's eyes never left the canvas, and she never stopped working.  
It was only then that Laura noticed that Carmilla was drawing her, only the normality of an outline so far. She could only comply out of curiosity, sitting on the stool next to the easel, watching Carmilla's focused face of stone crash and the wave of a smile wash onto the corner of her mouth. "I doubt you could get it wrong. You're brilliant."  
She didn't lie. Why Carmilla never expressed these talents back at Silas, she never knew. Probably didn't want to let anyone know she could do anything besides sleep, snark, and study. Though all of that went out the window when Carmilla spent their first semester saving Laura's life.  
"Had a lot of practice." Was the only answer she received before Carmilla pulled the stool closer, the ghost of a smirk in her features before she picked up her pencil and those features were once again that of a Greek goddess. This was Aphrodite.  
The house was quiet besides the patter of the rain and Carmilla's pencil. It was fascinating to just watch her eyes flint from Laura's face to the canvas and back again. There was something in them that kept Carmilla going. Probably the equivalent to Laura when she threw herself at something...A hand tilted her chin up slightly as Carmilla adjusted on her stool for a new angle, a crease appearing and vanishing into her porcelain skin.  
"Why were you reading about heterosexual intercourse?" She was asked, another tilt of her chin.  
"Why do you have a book about heterosexual intercourse?" She shot back, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks. Probably what Carmilla was looking for.  
Carmilla smirked, shaking her head slightly as she switched pencils. "It seemed like an interesting read. Figured I should be informed on the currents of sexual manner in all forms just in case I ever felt the need to pursue any new partners in your absence. It never became necessary. It does make a wonderful makeshift easel for smaller portraits. Now, why were you reading it?"  
Laura shrugged, picking at her nails. "I grabbed it off the shelf without looking. Why'd you want to know about heterosexual sex?"  
Did she not just explain that?  
"I know about heterosexual sex, Laura. It's just a book helping males find the ways to a female's orgasm. Honestly, I'm shocked you're more fascinated in my ownership of the only copy of that book than its lack of inclusivity. Even I was appalled for lack of a better term." Carmilla picked up her mug and took a sip.  
"You have the only copy?"  
"Always the journalist." Carm barked a laugh. "Yes, Cupcake, I own the only copy. It's a long story that I don't want to waste time telling. One thing's for certain though..."  
"What?" Laura quirked an eyebrow.  
"Clearly, men don't know how badly they need the damn thing. I swear, men take the joy out of fine wine." The artist sighed.  
"Oh, yeah? Is that how you've stayed so young, not having to deal with men?"  
"They age you; I hear." Carmilla shrugged. "All done, Cutie."  
"Let me see!" Laura squirmed in her seat.  
"No! I have to put some finishing touches on it first!" Carmilla took the canvas and rushed to plant it behind the couch. "Touch it and you'll be pinned up back there too."  
"Is that a threat or a promise?" Laura bit her bottom lip with a faux innocent glint in her eye.  
"My hands may be bruised, but I can still use my fingers, Hollis."  
"So, you did read the book. Care to share what you've learned?"  
"Oh, I can show you way more than what that book has to offer. You'll be screaming for relief and continuation in the same breath, never knowing which is more preferable." Carmilla planted herself on Laura's lap, moving blonde hair to place a kiss right below her ear. "Would you like a demonstration, Professor Hollis? I can make a very excellent spread sheet. And a persuasive PowerPoint. I'll let you choose the word."  
Laura's bottom lip quivered with desire and frustration. As much as she wanted those soft, pale ablest fingers to throw her into the deepest recollection of their many slips in the confines of the Silas library, her inquisition was still pestering her. With a soft grunt, she spit out her inquiry. "So, you didn't have that book to learn the proper ways to have sex in a penial reference?"  
Carmilla's movements ceased as if a cop had caught her in the act of vandalism. Laura squeezed her eyes closed out of fear of the reaction. Why couldn't she just shut up and let the hot girl touch her?  
"What?" Carmilla sat up, hands resting on her own thighs, curiosity in her features.  
"Penial reference means that-"  
"I know what it means, Creampuff." Carmilla shifted slightly. "I am sure your sudden outburst and peaked interest at my choice of literature are only harboring an even deeper curiosity; so, why don't you just ask me and stop all this?"  
"Technically, The Science of Orgasms can't be put into the same category of literature but-"  
"Laura..." The blonde bit her lip to end the concave of word vomit. Definitely should've just let the hot girl touch her. "Are you asking me if I was reading this book in order to gain knowledge on the sexual normalcies that come with intercourse with a person with a penis?...I'd keep making you squirm, but you'd just scare me to hell at this point."  
"As if anything I do could scare you." Laura scoffed.  
"On the contrary. I could think of a few things." And she did, needing to remember where she was to shake the thoughts from her mind. "So?"  
"Maybe...just a little." Laura admitted, feeling the blush burn her cheeks.  
A snicker made her open her eyes. Shock shifted to annoyance as she watched Carmilla begin to laugh at her. She just rolled her eyes and snorted.  
"You're horrible!"  
"Oh, Laura!" Carmilla brushed a stray tear out of her eye. "While I do think it is important to understand the logistics of your sexual partner's preferences and safeties, I wasn't reading it for sexual reasons. It was the first and only book I helped edit and it was given to me as a gift for my hard work after the author chose not to go through with publication."  
"So, you meant it when you said you've been celibate since my death?" Laura wasn't quite sure why she felt the need to question it. It's not that trusting Carm was a difficulty, just imagining the idea felt far-fetched.  
"Which makes all these unfulfilled moments far more painful than they could be." Carmilla placed her hands at Laura's sides.  
"Do you think you can make it to the bedroom before you self-destruct?" Laura blushed again.  
Carmilla hummed, pretending to really give it some thought. "Why do that when there's a perfectly sturdy couch right here?"  
She pulled them to their feet, bringing Laura up to her lips, pulling one between her teeth hungrily. Laura began to remove the robe from around her body, letting it slip off her shoulders and onto the floor. Her fingers wove into raven-black hair as she snapped Carmilla's head back.  
"Race you."  
Blonde hair nearly slapped Carmilla in the face as Laura bound past her and around the corner. The tiny girl cackled as she ran, seeing her destination growing ever closer. Just as she was feeling superior, she heard the faintest patter of feet before she realized she was being chased. Before she could act, she was swept up into a pair of pale arms and pulled into the bedroom.  
"Did you really think I'd let you get away with that twice in one lifetime, Creampuff?" Carmilla tossed Laura onto the bed with a grunt, running a hand through her hair with a smile on her face.  
"H-how did you-?"  
"You can take the vampire out of the body, but you can't take the giant black cat. Just as limber as I've always been." She smirked, proud.  
"Yeah? Show me." A pair of legs scissored around her waist and she was brought down back to the same position she had taken in the living room.  
With a push of her left foot, Carmilla tossed herself over Laura's body, bounced once on the bed, and landed silently on the other side in a ready position. Laura gasped, astonished, rolling over to see Carmilla's eyes glinting with challenge. She smiled at that, rising to her feet and moving to the most spacious part of the room. With a deep breath, she hopped into fighting stance, giving Carmilla the best blank face she could ever give her.  
She wants to play.  
They circled one another cautiously in the limited amount of open space in the room, just big enough to pull this off. Carmilla's face was just as smooth as Laura's, with just the hint of humor in her eye. Both of them were patient, waiting to see who would take the first strike. The blank faces were serious, but the conversation between their eyes gave the not-so secret that this was just a game between loves. Carmilla was the first to strike with a quick jab straight between those honey brown eyes. Laura blocked it, holding Carmilla by the wrist without tearing her gaze away from her opponent. And the game began.  
Such an intricate dance between differentiating techniques and styles. A mix of jabs, hooks, uppercuts, and kicks. Both pushing different moves in the same dance, neither able to take the lead. Every move Carmilla threw at Laura, she managed to block or duck behind; and, the same from Laura to Carm. In the attempt to throw an uppercut, Carmilla grabs Laura's arm and swings her to the ground- only to be shocked to see Laura perform a side fall break and shoot back up into fighting stance. She didn't have long to stand and gawk before Laura ran forward and performed a grapple and hip throw in record time. Pushing herself off the ground, she came up with a running axe kick. She was blocked and came back with a side elbow.  
Now, they were just pushing one another back and forth in the space, blocking every move the other threw. Neither had been hit yet. Both wanted to get the first hit. Their differencing techniques made it seem like a breeze. They were so wrong. Kickboxing is all about combat with the hands and feet, sometimes knees and elbows, and fighting those who are following the same techniques as you. Krav Maga was designed for fighting to survive by every means available. There is no cheating in Krav Maga, and everything goes. Which explains the three times Laura attempted an eye strike maneuver and continuously used palm strike against Carmilla's torso. Carmilla had a lot of kicks in her arsenal and used all of them. Front kick, side kick, roundhouse kick, axe kick, back kick, semi-circular kick. Sometimes back to back. Shockingly, both of them were unstoppable.  
Finally, as both were beginning to lose all of their stamina, Laura does a running vertical knee strike to Carmilla's chest, knocking her into the wall beside the door frame. Quickly, she pinned both arms to the wall at her waist, giving them a chance to take a breather.  
"I believe I win." She breathed, showing off by keeping Carmilla's hands exactly where she wanted them.  
Carm huffed as she tried to release herself but sighed in defeat. "You're killin' me, Hollis."  
"Yeah, well, I'll make it worth your while." Laura grinned.  
"How so? Not bruising my wrist?" Carmilla hinted. She knew Laura wasn't trying to, but the grip was still pretty tight.  
"Oh, sorry, does that hurt? Let me fix it." In one swift motion, Laura had Carmilla in some sort of makeshift fireman's carry and tossed her onto the bed, straddling her waist. Carmilla's breath came out in gasps. "Is that better?"  
Carmilla laughed loudly, making music in Laura's ears, before letting herself calm down, wiping some stray hairs away from Laura's face. "Cupcake, is this another one of those moments where we just end up falling asleep and nothing happens again? Because I'm not sure if I can take another night of being left hot and ready and you're actually here to fix it."  
Laura giggled, rubbing her nose against Carm's, "Not this time. Buckle up, Creampuff."  
"I've been buckled up for a long time, Cupcake. Just drive." Carmilla breathed, entirely too ready for this.  
"Speed limit only, Carm."  
Carmilla rolled her eyes, pushing Laura over and taking her place on top. "Still killin' me, Hollis."  
I love you.


	18. 17

Laura could feel her leg falling asleep as she, herself, began to stir awake. She tried moving it around in hopes that it would ease that feeling of silicone beads adjusting in her skin against carpet causing static, but she had very minimum space to get around. Every time she tossed her leg over, it felt like a rendition of Arizona Robbins during the plane crash; just less screaming. Once the cloud of sleepiness began to subside, she realized she was, just lightly, kicking a balled-up Carmilla- who somehow ended up in the center of the bed wrapped in blanket- while Laura was confined to the edge of the bed with nothing keeping her warm but the friction of her own hands against her shoulders. In that moment, while her leg was silently ringing and her naked body was slowly getting chill bumps that nearly hurt to the touch, Laura never wanted to smack Carmilla with a pillow so much in her life. Even the concave of study buddies got a pass compared to this moment. She peered over her cold shoulder with a grimace.  
Look at her. Sleeping. Warm. Probably dreaming about her days slurping necks and taking chocolate chip cookies. Stupid, useless...ex-vampire! I bet she spends her days pretending to be Krampus and telling kids Santa dies in their chimneys!  
With a low grunt, Carmilla shifted before falling still again. Laura huffed, turning around again. She noticed her shirt on the floor. Finally, something going in her favor! She reached for it, but she just couldn't reach, fingers just inches away. A simple tilt down should be enough to grab it. Right? Wrong! It was, however, enough to knock Laura to the floor. She heard a thud and felt what she was sure was the floorboards shifting beneath her butt; but, clearly, Carmilla heard nothing as she made no move to check out the source of the noise. Snatching the fabric from underneath her legs, Laura yanked the shirt over her head just as an alarm sent Carmilla into a frenzy underneath the blankets before she was able to swipe her phone screen. The blanket dropped down to her waist and she looked around in confusion as her eyes adjusted.  
"Laura?" Her voice was caked with sleep. It made Laura's stomach flutter.  
Laura pulled herself up onto the bed with a grunt. "Did you not hear me fall?"  
"You fell?" Carmilla purred, laying her head on Laura's shoulder, satisfied that Laura hadn't left the bed after all. Well, the bedroom at least. "I thought you just dropped a pen or something. It was so faint. You're such a tiny Hollis, Cupcake. So light."  
The decimation by pillow idea pushed itself back to the front of her mind.  
"I am not tiny! I have muscles, you know!"  
"Mm. Quite well."  
"N-. I-. Look!" She shoved up her shirt to reveal her abdomen. "That is a six pack right there, Karnstein!"  
Carmilla peered down, an intrigued look on her face. Laura had gotten her attention. All her attention. Pale fingers traced the hard muscles before her thumb pressed against a particularly fleshy area of Laura's hip and a hand held her in place.  
"You know, I'm starting to truly believe you're really here and not just a fucked up picture in my head." Carmilla whispered, capturing Laura's lips in her own. Her free hand locked itself in her hair while the other massaged that sensitive spot as deeply as flesh would allow it to go.  
Laura put the desire to bash raven hair with her pillow back in the shadows where it belonged. A stronger craving had surfaced. Every time that Carmilla's thumb dug into her side, her body arched and a groan itself in the back of her throat. If she stopped kissing Carmilla for even a second, the eruption of pure need that spilled out of her mouth would be her undoing.  
The roll of Laura's hips was driving Carmilla crazy. Eventually, she grabbed her by the waist with both hands and pulled her onto her lap, keeping her thumbs exactly where she wanted them. Every roll sent growls from deep within and against Laura's skin.  
"Dammit, Laura." She strained to keep her composure. It was hard for her to be so tame after so long. Last night was one thing. There was something about having Laura that way again that called to all her primal instincts, but she didn't to scare her. She was starting to frighten herself with just how badly she wanted this. So, with the most frustrated sigh she ever gave 3 centuries, she put some distance between them. Laura blushed above her, both laughing at the very teenage horny scene they'd just performed.  
"You're killin' me, Hollis."  
Helping both of them catch a breath, the blonde rolled off Carmilla's lap, pulling on a stray pair of pants from the floor.  
Carmilla checked the time, trying to find something to take away from the itching in her fingernails to scratch something. Preferably the blonde with honey brown eyes and tan skin just begging to be clawed red. Huffing, she rose to her feet, adjusting the shorts fumbled on her waist. "I'm going to the gym for a spar. Do you want to come? It might help release some of this...tension."  
Laura could think of nothing better, except the obvious. She hadn't been doing her yoga. Maybe this could be a new hobby of hers.  
"Sure." She shrugged. "I'll get dressed."  
It took Laura a minute to get herself together, but she managed to make it quick, opting for a gray cropped tank and a pair of spandex shorts. She went to wait for Carmilla just to find that Carmilla was already at the door and ready to go with two water bottles. She had to pause and recollect herself before she forgot about the gym all together. No one could really blame her. Carmilla in a sports bra and shorts with her hands wrapped would stop anyone in their tracks. It was a simple reflex really.  
"Ready?" Carmilla forced herself to focus on Laura's face, acknowledging the flush in her cheeks, and not the flex of skin bridging the gap between her shirt and her shorts. She opened the door for Laura to walk through without waiting for an answer.   
Laura grabbed one of the water bottles and made her way outside. She took a sip as she waited for Carmilla to lock the door; and, she blushed when Carmilla immediately grabbed her hand before they began the walk to the gym. The walk reminded her of the last time they’d walked this same walk two days ago. Carmilla walked with purpose, the same as she had before. Two days ago, it was to make a lot of money going head-to-head with a girl who had to have been raised by bodybuilders and metal rock stars. Today that walk was more desperate, needing to reach her destination before something else could happen. It was still holding that Carmilla Karnstein flair, but Laura could see the nerves in her shoulders. She could feel it in the way she held her hand. She could hear it in her breathing. And she could relate.  
For a short walk, they just couldn’t get there fast enough.  
…………..  
At first, Laura watched Carmilla spar with Kenzie, impressed that she could look so sturdy after the battle she just had with Dana Penowski. Dana Penowski who could call Sam Puckett a wimp and slap her with her own butter sock and get away with it. And Carmilla left her a groggy puddle of protein shake, sweat, and metal right in this very room. Looking at her now, you couldn’t tell she had come in contact with a beast at all; a total switch from two nights ago. Laura figured she could be dialing down her injuries to get over on Kenzie- and, to keep her from worrying; it didn’t stop her though. She would always worry.  
“Alright, Cupcake. Your turn.” A sweat coated Carm motioned for her to get on the mat.  
“I…don’t know. Playing around like we did last night is totally different than actually jamming your nose into your brain.” Laura warily left Alex to sit alone to join Kenzie and Carm.  
“You’ll be fine. Just trust your instincts.” Carmilla offered her a smile. “You’ll start with Kenzie. See what she can teach you.”  
“Yeah, short stack. Show me what you’re made of.” Kenzie smirked, bouncing on her heels. “No way you can kick my ass more than C.K.”  
“Maybe not,” Carmilla shrugged, her smirk just as big as her friend’s. “But she knows krav maga.”  
“What?”  
In a flash, Laura had Kenzie on the mat with her arm pinned behind her back. She peered up at Carmilla with an exasperated sigh. “How is it that people always forget that?”  
Carmilla joined Alex as Laura released Kenzie. She took a swig of water and watched them feel each other out on the mat. A little hot from her own spar, she poured some water in her hair and down her face.  
“So, how does it feel to have your very on Beatrice Kiddo?” Alex leaned against the wall next to where she sat.  
“Like Bill was a got damn idiot for losing her in the first place.” Carm chuckled before giving Alex a serious look. “It feels good, Alex. It feels really good.”  
Alex grinned, placing a hand on Carmilla’s shoulder. “We’re really happy for you, Karnstein. Really. Confused, but happy. It’s a miracle that Laura’s alive. You two look good together.”  
“Thanks, Fairway.”   
Alex unzipped her hoodie, letting it fall off her shoulders. “You cool if I check out your girl? Krav Maga if I remember correctly.”  
Carm shrugged with a proud grin. “I’d be careful though. Hollis is a lethal creampuff.”  
“I’ll keep that in mind.”  
They watched Laura maneuver around Kenzie like Kenzie wasn’t moving at all. A hurricanrana and Kenzie hit the mat hard. Laura wasted no time locking in an armbar, a knee buried in Kenzie’s shoulder. She was doused in sweat, the hint of a welt on her collarbone. Kenzie wasn’t bleeding, but there was a bruise forming on her left arm as she fought to counter Laura’s armbar.  
“Hey, Sundance! I think she’s had enough. Give Alex a turn.” Carmilla gave her friend mercy.  
Kenzie rolled off the mat once she was released, passing her girlfriend. She sat next to Carmilla, pouring water all over herself. “Your girl is not for the faint of heart.”  
“Of course, she’s not. She’s Laura.” Carmilla scoffed playfully. “Did you think she’d be easy because she’s tiny?”  
“No. I thought she’d be easy because she wasn’t you, Grease Lightning.” Kenzie rolled her eyes with a cheesy grin. “I see why you’re in love with her.”  
“Because she can kick your ass? It’s definitely a plus.” There was no point resisting admission. After two years thinking the tiny blonde was dead and nearly a year before that trailing after her every move like she was protective recruit number one, there was no denying that her feelings for Laura went far past her ideal protection like she had claimed back in room 307.  
“Because she’s strong, asshole!” Kenzie smacked Carmilla with her towel. “She’s unstoppable. You see Laura Hollis and you get stubborn, cute, and talkative; but you know Laura Hollis and you get determined, adorable, and expressive.”  
“She’s still stubborn.”  
“And talkative.”  
“Gushy.”  
“Naïve.”  
“Dramatic.”  
“Frustrating.”  
“I’M STILL HERE!” Laura called out from the mat. Alex had her down, but she was holding her torso up by her legs, arms still attached to Alex as she was being bent back table style. Pushing off her feet, she flipped over Alex into a standing position before knocking her to the mat in a headlock.  
“Okay! Time!” Alex cackled as Laura helped her up. “Nice sparring, L.”  
“Thank you.” Laura blushed, shaking her hand.  
Carmilla came trudging back onto the floor. “Alright then, cutie. My turn. Real time. Get me pinned and we can go home.”  
“Well, shit, that’s a trick.” Alex hung her arms over her knees where she sat on the floor.  
“Not really.” Kenzie rested her back against her partner’s. “She offered that challenge to the one person who might beat it. Clearly, she’s surpassed anything I’ve taught her. The asshole.”  
Laura and Carmilla stared each other down, standing in position, waiting for the other to strike. They were smart enough to know not to be the person who swung first, knowing the other would absolutely make this a quick match. They were partners and this was a challenge, this didn’t need to be time consuming. They wouldn’t let it. Carmilla knew what she was doing. Laura was strong, strong-willed, and resilient; but Laura was tired. She was also pretty full of herself in this moment, Carmilla sure. All that ego and sparring put her at a disadvantage to Carmilla’s break and trained calm nature; unless one adds the fact that she was not exactly fully healed from her fight. And she knew that Laura knew that. But could she act on any of it?  
Just as she predicted, Laura took the first lunge, dodging behind Carmilla and wrapping her arms around her waist, locking her hands together. She tried to pull her back down to her knees, but quickly found that Carmilla wouldn’t go down; so, she tried pushing her forward. The taller girl kept her feet planted firmly, refusing to budge. She could feel the frustration set in as Laura began to grunt instead of breath. With a silent chuckle, Carmilla bounced hard on her feet, shoving her backside out, forcing Laura to release her. The blonde gasped, catching herself before she hit the floor.  
If Carmilla had learned anything from last night’s battle, it was to watch Laura’s hands. That came in handy (haha) when Laura came rushing with hand attacks. Jabs. Slaps. Punches. Even eye gouge techniques. She blocked herself from them as best she could, careful not to forget the legs, always wary that they would make an appearance. She managed to avoid a backhand fist only to be met with a roundhouse kick coming from the other direction. She rolled out of the way just barely before being caught in a sliding lariat. Laura scurried to pin her down, covering her torso. Carmilla treated Laura’s body like a limbo stick, pushing up and under her, coming to a standing position. Letting out a frustrated cry, Laura ignored any training she’d ever had and run forward for a clothesline, which Carmilla ducked under with ease.   
“Focus, Creampuff! The frustration won’t help you! You know that!” She warned her.  
Laura took a deep breath to center herself before stepping forward once more. Carmilla was patient, letting her contemplate what she would do next. Laura tries her jabs and punches once again, throwing her knees into the mix. Carmilla blocked, dodged, and countered, completely in tune with herself and her partner. Grabbing Laura’s knee mid move, she twisted downward, throwing Laura to the ground beside her before straddling her waist and pining her arms to the mat.  
A lopsided grin on her face, she planted a quick kiss to her lips. “I win.”  
“CHARGE!” She moved before Alex and Kenzie rushed the mat. They took a side and tried their best to avenge their new friend. Carmilla cackled as she fought them off, sometimes using their own bodies against them. Laura joined the onslaught, attacking from the center.  
Carmilla understood the tactic. Defending in numbers to tire her out and get her down. She wouldn’t have it. She was taught better. Sidestepping perfectly from a double mid-kick, she watched victoriously as Alex and Kenzie collided and Laura bouldered into them both, sending all three to the ground.  
“Nice try.” She crooned.  
“Dammit. That’s what I get for being a good teacher.” Kenzie smacked the mat.  
…………….  
“You’re really good. If you keep practicing, you just may be good enough to compete.” Carmilla pulled an ice pack from the freezer. “Excuse me. Well enough.”  
Laura giggled, still feeling the adrenaline from all the intensity. “I’ll leave that to you and the girls, I think. Not quite sure how beneficial I could be.”  
“If you learn to channel your frustration, which you know, then you will be on even bigger ass kicking machine.” Carmilla handed her the pack, removing the bandages from her own hand. “The sweat is the worst part once you get past strikes that actually land.”  
Laura, now over being competitive, finally noticed Carmilla’s glistening skin. The stray hairs sticking to her forehead. Her body stated humming as they locked eyes. That hunger from earlier had evolved to starvation. If there was anything higher than famished, she reached it when she found herself being lifted onto the kitchen table. Black hair engulfing her vision on all sides. A pale face with eyes glazed in lust above her.   
“Carm…” She could feel something poking at her back, making this far too uncomfortable to even begin to attempt enjoyment.  
“Sshh.” Carmilla busied herself with kisses to Laura’s nose. Then her cheek. Then her collarbone.  
Laura squirmed to rid herself of the intrusion beneath her, unable to wiggle out of its way. “I-. Um. As much as I am enjoying this reenactment of our solarium break in, this may be much more comfortable on a nice soft mattress with less possibility of injury and a higher possibility of a potential round 2.”  
Carmilla was vertical in seconds, pulling Laura up with her. Not willing to wait for her to find her footing, she just tossed the girl over her shoulder and made her way to the closest bed she could reach.   
“Carm!” Laura squealed, struggling to get her hair out of her face. “You’re going to hurt your back! Put me down!”  
She went flying backwards, landing on a soft surface and the weight of what was presumably the head of a stuffed bunny. She looked up to see Carmilla struggling to unclasp her bra with one hand. Her eyes were trained on Laura, a crinkle in her brow.  
“Carm- “  
“Laura! I have spent the entire time you’ve been back fighting with my own head to prove you’re not just a dream. That you’re really here and not just some imitation of the girl I loved floating through a stone wall. You are here. You are Laura Hollis. And I am so in love with you that I could not even breath in a world where you didn’t exist. Now that I am sure that you’re here laying in front of me with those got damned abs and those innocent brown eyes and that intoxicating voice that really needs to stop talking, I want to enjoy every bit of this moment that I can. I want to take you to a place that we have not been in years, deeper than we have ever gone; and I want to see what making love to Laura Hollis feels like with a clear mind. So, please, just shut the hell up and fuck me already.” Finally, the clasp released, and the bra hit the ground.  
Laura’s mouth dropped open with an almost as audible sound as the clothing landing on the floor. She would’ve cried at Carmilla’s confession, but her tear ducts were a little dry. Like her mouth. Not like…so many other things.  
With a flurry of nods, she managed to whimper her response. “O-okay.”  
With her signature smirk, Carmilla kicked the door closed with her foot and resumed her position, experiencing Laura with new eyes.


	19. 18

(A/N: If you have a history of crying at emotional overload, this is your warning. If you try to avoid emotional overload, sorry, this is not the chapter for you; but read anyway. If you need tissues, check the comments. If you wish to make a complaint, our office hours are from 0 to 100 in less than 60 seconds. If you wish to spread love, our office hours are anytime and anywhere at your earliest convenience. Don't forget to like, share, and follow. Have a beautiful day, lovelies.)

Something was tickling her nose, making it difficult to drift back to sleep. There was a comfortable weight on her chest and a warmth flush against her torso; but there was a heat on her face that surely would prevent sleeping in. She opened her eyes and was met with brown fur and a black button nose. Growling lowly, she flung the disruption across the room, squinting at the sunlight scorching her eyes.

"Damn cottontails." She drawled, stretching her arms as the body on top of her own started stirring. Carmilla froze, watching Laura with what little view she had.

Her eyes were still closed, face peaceful. This could possibly be the most peaceful she had ever seen Laura. The world hadn't touched her yet. She was just there in the calm. It reminded her of their time at Silas. She used to watch Laura sleep all the time. It started off as a curiosity about just what this little naïve, provincial girl could be dreaming about and quickly evolved to undeniable desires to be in whatever dreams she could be having; after that, it became purely about Laura's peace.

Laura's rest was never as peaceful at Silas as it was now. There was always a nightmare to erase or an interruption to invite. She would have a crinkle between her eyes like she had things to contemplate even in sleep. There was no other time that Carmilla could recall Laura being so sound asleep aside from one so devastatingly peaceful that she couldn't wake her up.

But Laura was here now. Miraculously she was back. The gods pried open the jaws of death and returned her love unscathed with the simplicity of a third grader's riddle. This was their reality. Anywhere else Laura would still be gone and Carmilla would be a fraction of the person she grew to be after the blonde came barreling into her life like a loose canon full of hot chocolate and loose lips. She would be lost and uncertain as she found even more outlets to distract from the pain of losing the one person in the world in over 3 centuries who saw all she had to give and found more in her offering; and showed her how not only to offer to others, but give to herself. How could she possibly be anything more than surviving after that?

Even though she absolutely loathed Laura's generation's favorite sparkly Cullen clan member, Carmilla could relate to him in his anguish upon believing his beloved was gone forever. She now knows how demolishing it can be and how it dismantles from the inside out; and, like him, she knows the relief when it is discovered that the one you love most is indeed still with you and you've got a second chance. She feels it now more than ever with the love of her many lives awakening beneath her.

"Mm. Morning already?" Honey brown eyes opened just slightly, Laura's head lifting for her chin to rest on Carmilla's bare chest. She smiled lazily at her not-so-vampire lover. "I think I fell asleep listening to your heart beating."

"Oh? Was it fluttering?" Carmilla traced her fingers along Laura's back, enjoying the softness of the lower half contradicting the strength of the upper.

"It was sort of...humming. It was comforting; like a classical playlist, but in your chest." Laura giggled, placing a kiss directly over Carmilla's heart. "If you had told me before that you would be human, I would've expected you to be a little more tan."

"What? You don't like the pasty type when they aren't out to treat you like a blood bank?" Carmilla grinned. "You realize this is the first time we've ever just lay in bed like this, tousled between the sheets together in the early morning, and just bantered like a couple of college roommates?"

"If I recall, we used to be a couple of bantering college roommates. I don't see much of a difference here, Carm." Laura shrugged with a soft yawn.

"Oh, yeah, because we were definitely rattling each other's bones in our dorm room and having shower sexcapades in between your annoying friends bursting through the door like 3 boxes of obnoxiously flavored ginger snaps and the search for previous missing roommates." The sarcasm dripped from her lips like venom used to bleed from her fangs.

Laura blushed at that, forgetting briefly that there was a point where they weren't always so inseparable. "This is terrible cuddle talk."

"Sorry, Cupcake. I didn't realize post sex cuddling sessions came with an instruction manual." Carmilla chuckled and booped Laura's nose when she saw her nose scrunch up. "Fine, love. I digress. How was last night for you? Did I feel real?"

"You definitely felt like I remembered. Better than." Laura responded, turning to face the sunlight pooling in through the bedroom window. "You've never felt like a fantasy to me, Carm. Even when Mattie said you had gone. Even when I was certain in those few minutes in that coffin that I was awake that I wouldn't make it out. You have always been real and prominent in my mind. I had hope that you stuck around, that a part of you felt like staying in Silas because maybe you thought I was still here too. I just got really lucky that you didn't just up and move to France in hopes of starting fresh."

The brunette let all of sink in, her fingers just there now, holding Laura. Not so much as if she would disappear, more like knowing she wouldn't. She followed Laura's glance and sighed. "France wouldn't have been enjoyable without you."

There was really nothing left to say. Everything was calm. It was just them, the bunnies, and the sun. The sun that didn't seem like much of a bother now. It was actually sort of beautiful for a hot, scorching asshole that ruined people's sleep.

Carmilla began to speak again when she heard her phone ringing from the kitchen. She wanted to let it go to voicemail, but Laura was already getting up to grant her access to the exit; so, may as well. Trudging through the hall to the kitchen, she picked up, wishing she had grabbed some pants first.

"What?" She groaned, headed back towards her bedroom to find a pair of sweatpants.

"Carmilla! Long time no see. How are you?"

She stopped at her bedroom door, really wishing she'd grabbed some pants first. This talk needed pants. She couldn't be frozen in the middle of the hallway completely naked and have this conversation. It's been quite some time since she heard this voice. How could she have not thought to call by now? She looked at Laura through the open door, worry plastered across her face. Laura began to come towards her, but Carmilla held up a hand to stop her. She needed her to stay put. She needed to think. She needed to prepare. She really needed to put on some pants.

"Carmilla? You there?"

Smashing her phone to bits seemed more appropriate for her mood than responding, but what else could she do? She had to answer. She had to explain. She had to do something that didn't scare Laura or raise suspicion. It couldn't come out that way. So, eyes trained on Laura, she gauged carefully.

"Sherman," She swallowed but her throat was too dry to allow it. "What's new?"

Laura's face shifted from worry to happiness to fear. Carmilla saw the tears of joy and pain from where she stood. She knew that Laura knew Sherman's reaction could go in so many directions that even he would be at a crossroads. They couldn't not tell him any longer. How they went this long without telling him was a question in both their minds.

"I learned to make my own soaps. That was fascinating." He replied enthusiastically.

"Sounds like boredom and a pain in the ass." Carmilla said absentmindedly while she watched Laura throw on a shirt and a pair of shorts. She finally found herself able to walk into her bedroom and throw on some sweatpants and a tank top.

Sherman sighed and tsk'd. "Language, Karnstein."

"Sorry, Hollis." She apologized, going back into Laura's room, sitting next to her, and squeezing her hand. "There's just a lot going on here."

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" She could hear a bottle shaking in the background like he was getting ready to spray.

"Um...you could say that." Carmilla was hoping for Lafontaine's reaction to repeat itself. At least she'd see something comical. Them falling out of their chair was still pretty funny. And- just like Lafontaine's call- Laura gave her silent agreement to release the secret to her father. "I-It's about Laura."

The line was silent for a few seconds and she was sure he had gone off before he spoke again.

"What happened? Did some little vandal ruin her gravesite? My daughter deserves to rest peacefully! She's earned that after saving the entire planet from unprecedented catastrophe! That's what happened, isn't it? Why those little- "

"Sherman! Breathe! No one would dare destroy Laura's gravesite. I would never allow it. Besides," She gulped, purely afraid. "It wouldn't matter now if they did."

Oh, boy. That couldn't have been the proper way to do this. Was there a possible way to explain a perfectly fine resurrected Laura to her father? It wasn't possible to explain it to anybody outside of the Silas area without being committed. Honestly if it weren't for being born in a different century and experiencing all types of abnormality for over 300 years, she would never believe it either. How could they expect him to? Not everyone was as open as Laura.

"What in Godric's Hollow are you saying, Carmilla Karnstein?" Sherman's voice was suspicious, borderline angry, and sad. "Are you saying that the defacing of my only daughter's grave is not an important matter? That it's meaningless? Because if that is what you are insinuating, Miss Karnstein, then let me tell you, I- "

"Oh, for gods' sake! Sherman Hollis you are as big a firecracker as your daughter! Listen to me!" She huffed. Why were Hollis' so frustrating? "It wouldn't matter if they did because the coffin is empty. She isn't-. She isn't there. She's alive."

At this point, Carmilla wasn't sure what to expect. Silence, anger, tears. Maybe for the call to end and never hear from the older Hollis ever again. It was impossible to tell. She was scared. Laura was scared. There was no simple way to do this.

"LISTEN TO ME, CARMILLA KARNSTEIN! NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING OR WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE, BUT I WILL NOT STAND FOR SUCH HEARTLESS PRANKS! MY BABY GIRL DIED A HERO AND A- A LIGHT! I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT TO BE DIMINISHED BY YOUR IDEA OF A SICK JOKE! LAURA IS DEAD!" His voice cracked on the last word, emotions overwhelming him, drowning him. "SO, YOU JUST TAKE IT BACK AND APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO DAMNED INCOSIDERATE!"

"I will not! It's not a joke, Sherman! She's alive!"

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! I WON'T!"

"Do you really believe that I would make such a twisted joke at your expense? At mine? That I would desecrate on her name like that? That I would throw out my love for her and make such a loaded statement without it being true? Is that what you think of me?" Carmilla held her composure, but a huge part of her was ready to cry at his pain. Hope that his daughter had not been gone, but was alive, was not even close to likely. She would be him too.

"I WON'T! YOU- "

"Is that what you think of me?"

"SHE'S GONE! IT CAN'T BE! SHE- "

"Is that what you think of me?"

"NO!" He took an audible breath, lowering his tone, but he sounded so defeated. "No, I don't."

"Hear me. She is alive. I just need you to listen. Can you do that?" Carmilla was internally crossing her fingers. He was a Hollis. Since when do they listen to anything? Laura didn't even listen to death- which was the one time she would ever be happy for her blonde little cupcake's stubbornness.

It took him a few seconds, but Sherman finally managed a response. "I can. I'm listening."

Giving a careful glance, Carmilla put her phone on speaker and handed it to Laura. By now, the smaller girl was in tears, shaking from head to toe. Carmilla gave her knee a squeeze, urging her on. Being her rock. Raising the speaker up to her lips, Laura sniffled and fought to push out a word.

"Daddy?" She cried, choking on her own tears. "Daddy, it's me."

There was nothing. A gentle rustle. The phone began to ring for video call. He wasn't going to believe until he truly saw. No one could blame him. It took a lot to accept.

As soon as Laura accepted the video and her face appeared on the screen before a rattled Sherman Hollis, his phone fell with a thud as he dropped to his knees with his head in his hands. He was rocking back and forth with open emotion erupting from his every core as he and his daughter cried together. Laura could barely hold the phone steady, so Carmilla crawled behind her and helped hold it, and her, steady.

"My baby! My baby!" Sherman quickly wiped his face and picked up his phone again. "How? How did this happen?"

"Carm saved me. With a riddle." Laura sniffled. "I've been alive all this time. Mattie dug me out of the ground after the riddle worked and she kept me safe. She said everyone left and kept me hidden. I found Carm not long ago...I thought I'd never see you again!"

Sherman chuckled eyes fresh with more tears. "Oh, baby girl, I have missed you so much. So much, Laura."

"I missed you too, Dad." Laura smiled at her father. "Where are you? I want to see you."

"I will book a flight right now and be with you within a day!" He rushed around for his laptop with exuberance. He looked 10 years younger. "I can't believe you're alive! I could care less how you're here, but I will forever be grateful for it!"

He looked at Carmilla with gratitude. "Thank you. Thank you, Carmilla. Thank you."

She just offered a soft grin to him, laying a head on Laura's shoulder. She could always o whatever it took to keep Laura alive. Even if it meant descending into hell a second time and entering this time. She'd never let anyone take her away again.

**********

"You okay?"

"I'm...alive."

"Thank Rao for that."

"No. I-. I- feel alive. I. Feel. Alive."

Laura could never forget the months she spent agonizing over everyone believing that she was no longer here. She blamed herself. If she had never stepped back into the Dean's game, none of it would've happened. They wouldn't have found the talisman. She wouldn't have carried them down into the pit- hell, she wouldn't have been in the pit at all like Carmilla wanted. She wouldn't have taken the deal. Laf wouldn't have lost an eye. And Laura wouldn't have died. Her loved one wouldn't have had to grieve her death. A lot of suffering could have been avoided. Her dad wouldn't have to be alone.

It took a long time for her to remind herself of what could have happened if she didn't continue. Perry would've still been controlled by the Dean. The Dean probably would've figured out how to get all 4 talisman another way. The entire student body would still be enslaved. The world could've ended. Everything she did was for good, for humanity, for love. That's not something to regret.

She did regret spending those years without her family. She missed them so much that she would sometimes stand in the mirror and give herself advice in their voices. It would've worked if not for the loud realization that it couldn't be them. It could never be them. Not until she knew the truth.

Ever since she found Carmilla and their lives joined once more, it slowly began to warm her up inside. She felt like the old Laura again, just with more knowledge than she had then. When they told Laf and Perry that Laura was alive, it made her feel like she was looking at the sky with a clearer vision. Like she could catch a glimpse of her reflection on its surface. Alex and Kenzie finding out boosted her confidence, taught her a new way to live. But having told her father? Telling him solidified everything she knew of herself for the past 2 years. She was alive. And now her family knew the truth. It couldn't get any better than that.

"I haven't felt this happy in...ever. I feel like I could sprout wings and soar." Laura took a deep inhale of breath, her lungs happy with the exercise.

"Well, just make sure you don't land on any sharp objects. I can only offer you a band-aid." Carmilla grinned, happy Laura got to finally speak to her father. There was so much Laura had to think about now. She got to start a new life. No one gets that. Not like this. "So, what are you planning on doing with your extra life?"

"I think I'm going to get a job and finish my journalism degree. Maybe take up stamp collecting! Danny had a scrapbook full at Silas! It looked like fun!" Laura sighed, remembering fond memories with her giant friend. "I wonder what happened to her."

"She became a vampire detective to put a stop to unexplainable supernatural crimes. She couldn't sit and do nothing after what happened to you. She wanted to keep the world safe, one criminal at a time."

"She doesn't know I'm alive. Someone should tell her, so she doesn't- "

"Cupcake...she only calls through a pay phone; and the only person she talks to is Kirsch. I can have Lafontaine call him, pass the news the next time she rings." Carm shrugged. She didn't keep contact after the funeral, Lafontaine and Perry being the only exceptions, though it didn't come without a fight. Danny wasn't ready to reconcile then, and neither was she. They just didn't have the strength to try. It was too much to handle at the time. "You kept all this together, you know? You were the one who threw us all together, made us play nice. None of us would've said a word to each other had it not been for you."

Laura smiled fondly, still familiar with her reasonings for it all back then. "All I did was try to find my missing roommate. It's not my fault you all had to band together for the greater good. Everyone just wanted to do the right thing."

"Not everyone, Cupcake." No matter how many times she showed it, spelled it, drew it, Laura just never understood. "We didn't put up with each other because we wanted to find General Spielsdorf and the other fish food. We did it for you. Because you needed us."

"You had more at stake than dealing with an annoying roommate if we didn't succeed." Laura shifted out of Carmilla's arms to better see her face.

"Do you really think I took on my mother and her giant pet goldfish because I just wanted to go off on my own?"

"Well, yeah." Laura frowned at Carmilla's eyebrows knitting together before she began to scoff and laugh at her. What was she missing in all this? "What?"

"Laura! I took on a god, went against my mother and the only family I'd known in centuries, and nearly died three times; and you believe I did all that so I could sip blood packets alone on the beach in the glow of the moon?" Carmilla wiped tears from her eyes. "You get more oblivious by the second."

"What's funny?" Laura could feel her face burning.

"I didn't want to be alone anymore." Carmilla suddenly felt butterflies in her stomach and an unnatural need to play with the blanket beneath her, rubbing the fabric between her fingers.

"You know my feelings for you, that I love you far too much for my health. I couldn't take my mother ripping you from this world like you were nothing but tissue paper in the way of her gift at the bottom of the bag. Freedom didn't mean anything without you.

"You were the glue, Laura. For me. For your dad. For everyone. Without you we separated, couldn't stand. I faced a fear worse than small spaces or drowning in a coffin of blood, my worst fear. I watched you leave, and I couldn't follow. I walked alone. I didn't want to be alone anymore, not without you. For the first time I felt empty, as if my body no longer carried me. You left and I can't even say that I stayed."

"Carm, I- I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. I know that is far out of character for you, buttercup, but don't. Don't speak. Just listen." Could she do this without vomiting at how vulnerable all of this was? Ever since Laura's return, everything was vulnerable. It made her stomach twist. Made her want to pace and wipe sweat off the back of her hands. It was remarkably gross.

"All I wanted for 2 years was for you to come waltzing in here with your owl sweater and your TARDIS mug and your giant arsenal of Harry Potter exclamations. I wanted you to come back to me and annoy my ass with Buffy marathons. Make me eat 1-star rated Chinese food because you like the sticky buns and have us both fighting for the toilet on the bathroom floor. Hold your hand in the darkness of a movie theater, too busy watching the expressions on your face change because that is far more appealing than whatever grossly romantic shit fest you would've talked me into watching. Two years I imagined all the things I could do with you if you were alive; because what was the point of facing humanity if I had not the human who found my mortality in the midst of my deepest death?

"Yellow was no longer a happy color. I didn't go anywhere, do anything that wasn't punching Kenzie to death or pushing my newfound alcohol limits. I couldn't go anywhere or see a blonde even close to you without falling victim to my own emotions. I wanted to screw my way through the pain, drunkenly bury myself in a warm body that would make me forget your name even existed; but I couldn't do that. To forget you would mean to forget life. To forget you would mean to forget the stars. I could never forget.

"Turning human was only easier as time went on because I didn't have the temptation of biting your neck. You weren't here to make me miss immortality. I couldn't avenge you, Maman was already gone. I couldn't forget you. I couldn't tempt you, let alone myself. There was just me alone with yellow faded to gray as I fought to find a good reason for mortality. And then you were alive.

"Right when I may have needed you the most, you come swooping in the back alley of a bar to save me from some prick who was probably at even drinking odds with me. No fear. No hesitance. Back then you weren't real to me. Then again, you were. You couldn't be. I watched you move and get closer and closer until I felt your skin. I've fought you in my mind, certain that you surely had to be a figment of my imagination. That I had lost my head, gone mad as I was always sure I would had I lost you. It felt better along with the idea. At least you were here. And then we kissed. You ran. And it wasn't better anymore. It was real, and real feels a lot better than not.

"I was a mess when you found me. I still am. I will be for a long time. I know that. But I remember a Carmilla Karnstein that was worse. One that whimpered at the mention of your name. Now I sit here with you and I don't feel an ounce of doubt that Laura Hollis is sitting with me. You're the glue, Laura. Three centuries, many lives lived, and you are the one keeping me together. Just you."

Surprisingly, Laura wasn't crying anymore. It looked more like she was analyzing, waiting on something. Her eyes showed adoration, love, and curiosity. Her heart was doing far too much leaping to be considered stable. Carmilla's every word spoke to her like an acoustic instrumental. Joe Satriani. A finely keyed piano melody. She was overjoyed. There was so much she wanted to know. To say...

"That's it." Carmilla looked around nervously while Laura remained passive. "You can talk now."

"I love you." She blurted out, slapping her hand against her mouth, shocked at her own inability to see that coming. Shaking it off, she rested her hands against her knee. "I- I mean, I do, but I meant that I love...you.

"When I was told that all of you were gone, I felt like Harry taking Cedric's body to his father; except Cedric's body couldn't be found. I was alone in my loss. I felt myself becoming darker by the day. It took a long time to find myself again. I did it because of you. I thought of a life where we were able to walk off Silas campus hand in hand, chasing each other down the walkway. We got a small apartment and watched horror films during a storm that would give me nightmares because you enjoy watching throats rip open. We would be free of all the stress of Silas University. Just you and me.

"That didn't happen. What did happen was Mattie, who reminded me that you would never be happy if I let the darkness consume me. So, it didn't. Mattie got me through the hiding and isolation. She made me remember who I was and what I stood for. She reminded me of everything my dying saved, and I was alive to see it. Mattie was the closest part of you that I had. But I needed you.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I was the glue that kept everyone together. But you guys became that for me too. You kept me from falling apart even before all this." Her head filled with the memory of almost losing Carm. The break-up. The reunion. All to end up where neither of them wanted to be; only to find themselves together again.

Carmilla pulled Laura into her arms, crushing their lips together with enough passion to ignite the air. They just sat cradled in each other's arms, finally sure of everything in a long time. It was a peaceful feeling. A breath of fresh air.

"I was dead for over 300 years, and you for not even 3 days. I'm starting to understand something about us, Cupcake," Carmilla murmured as the sun beamed onto her skin. "Not even death can stop true love."

Laura cackled, pulling Carmilla closer against her. "How'd that corn taste coming out of your mouth?"

"Corny." The brunette grumbled, grinning silently to herself. "The fact remains. We're meant for each other, Laura. I love you so much, and you must never leave me again. Do you hear me?"

Laura could feel something wet on her cheek. She looked up to tears streaming down Carmilla's face, but she was smiling. Not sad tears. Happy. Joyful. Relieved. She sat upright and pressed a kiss to each tear, wiping them away.

"As you wish."

Yellow was always a happy color.

The End.


End file.
